What I’ve learned at SCHOOL!!!!!!!!

At school you go intending to learn the mechanics of medicine.  Instead I ended up learning one of those life lessons that come along when you least expect it.

In school we recently watched a movie from the Discovery Channel called Inside the Living Body. We were watching it as a lead up to anatmony classes I’ll be taking soon. The freaky thing is what kind of impression this movie left me with. It follows a “Woman” from infancy until death. Beyond the workings of your body, organs hormones and such you realize what an absolute miracle the human body is. It astounded me how things work together in order for humans ( We are very fagile creatures) to grow and thrive.

The scary part was watching what happens to our mind and bodies once we hit our 60’s.  The progeression your skin and other features take through the natural course of aging (Of course this is different for those who choose face lifts and botox.) What struck me was how differetn a woman looks at 40 and then at 60. My first thought was HOLY SHIT we are all so fucking doomed. Our skill cells regenerate at an astonishing pace until we reach a certain age andd then they no longer do it. The synapsis in our brains stop firing off as they did when we were younger and slowly die taking us with them.

The lesson of this movie for me was just how precious each one of us are. A life should be lived well, we should play hard, love harder, forgive and forget. We should never settle for anything less than what we deserve. Trust me if you ever get the chance to see this movie do it. Yeah there is some gross anatomy scenes thorughout.  The message is clear each one of us is a miracle, each breath we take is a miracle. From the minute we leave the womb until the time we draw our last breath is a gift.

Make your life count. In ways big or small make it count. You have an affect on those who love you. You are someone else’s miracle, you carry the DNA of those who came before you. I look at life a little differently now. I’m striving to be the best person I can. I’m trying to take my path in life for myself not for others. It’s not selfish to find your happiness, once you are happy you can gift happiness to others. You will find your compassion and empathy. You will look at the sunrise in a new way, feel the breeze drift across your skin and know you matter. It doesn’t bother you if others think you don’t count, you’ll know the truth.

I am grateful to my teacher for sharing this film with us. I know it will help with my writing. Give me a new perspective on characters and their truly fragile nature.

Fun Medical Fact: If your diaphram is ruptured you die! Look up your anatomy and check where your diaphram is. You’ll never go without a seatbelt again!!!!!!!!!!!


Shinedown the inspiration for Magnus Crowe in Longfellow Seduced

So I’m listening to my local rock station in Detroit and I hear Simple Kind of Man, but I know it’s not my Lynard Skynard. I like what I hear, the song is a little different the singer a bit more gritty, a little more bluesy. I go online and search for this New band to me. Hot Damn I strike gold on YouTube and low and behold I discover Shinedown. NOt only the band but I see Magnus Crowe. In Longfellow Seduced he’s a Scottish vampire in a what else rock and roll band. I can’t put my finger on why I thought this band was THE BAND from LONGFELLOW, I just knew this was it. Silas our other fellow in the book is based on the guitar player. The other band mates are those in Shinedown as well.

I was told once that great writers need no inspiration but I beg to differ a bit. While it’s true imagination allows you to pull a character out of thin air don’t writer’s always leave a tiny bit of themselves in a character. For me and “MY PROCESS” ( I totally hate that phrase it’s so damn pretentious I wanna vomit) Nothing thrills me more than to take inspiration from real people. Do I think Shinedown represents the band in our Longfellow book, No. Do I think that listening to them and looking at them help ..Yes indeed…..

Cut and Paste to watch the video


Patience is a virtue my ass!!!!!!!


 Who the Hell every came up with that stupid bit of advice? I know it was someone I should remember the name of, I just don’t have the freakin patience to look it up. I’ve often been reminded by those around me I don’t have any patience. It’s a great big flaw I know but as a woman in her forties I no longer care. Life is too short to sit and wait around for things to happen. I hate waiting on anything.  With three kids, two dogs and hubby and now school my time is very precious and waiting feels like such a huge waste my time.

I can be sitting at the movies and become annoyed if it takes too long to start the previews. Waiting in line as the cashier and customer exchange life stories has me rolling my eyes and huffing. Worst still is sitting in class while other students drone on and on about their lives. Not that I mind hearing such things but for ten minutes…Please I want to hear the lecture and I don’t want to go home with two hours worth of homework because someone couldn’t shut their pie hole.

I think I have ADD that was never diagnosed. I can look at someone and completely float away not hearing a single word they’ve uttered. I’ve been caught by those around me who I’m sure think I’m being a bitch but truly I’m not. If I’m uninterested or bored I just take off somewhere else. It’s rarely ever intentional but my brain takes over and the next thing I know I’m being asked “so what do you think?” Huh? What do I think about what? It’s not like I can say “oh sorry I wasn’t listening to your ten minute tirade what do I think about what?”

I’m truly trying my hardest to stop suck bad behavior and one day I’ll get there, but until I do if WHEN you are talking to me and I get a glassy look in my eyes don’t take it personally…..Its really not you…No I mean it , its me not you…..Of course I find you interesting and yes I do really care what you have to say.

Finals week

I’m ending my first 6 week mod at school. So it’s finals week starting tomorrow. I am hysterical at this point. 350 medical root words (Latin and Greek). Then onto business communications where I had to purchase a blazer – Yes a freaking blazer for a mock interview which is 40% of my grade. I am terrified, will I remember what my instructor has taught me. She has been a wonderful teacher, making a lecture class easy to follow as well as interesting. Its been a pleasure to get to know her and I have enjoyed the class. My med term class has gone by in a flash, and yes another great teacher who is very kind and caring toward me. I think she worries about me because I don’t hide my feelings very well and hell I haven’t been in school for 25 years. Yes I am not as confident as I should be but I’m going to make sure she knows it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with me and my awesome ability to panic in an unfamiliar situation.

Who knew an accelerated learning program would drive me nuts. SO much information packed in 6 week blocks. These are classes people have for four months at a time.

Having said that I am enjoying myself more than I imagined. I feel like i have a real purpose and at the end of this journey I will be able to contribute  in the real world. While I’ll never ever give up writing it will always be my first love, but the satisfaction also comes with waiting and I don’t have the type of personality to wait.

Hopefully at the end of school I will find a part-time job that will enable me to continue doing the things I love and write and spend time with my children and help fulfill that space inside where I feel like i need to be doing something other than cooking and cleaning. I was so not meant to me a homemaker. I am in awe of women who do it and do it well. The enormous amount of work that goes into daily life and  able to find a way to keep it from being boring and redundant is inspiring.

I know that this schooling experience will help me to be a better mother, wife and writer.