I love the teen years…no seriously!!!!!!

Yes you read the headline correct. I have a 17 yr old and 14 yr old twins. When I tell most people they look at me with pity in their eyes and say something like, “Oh you poor thing.” My response is “Oh, you don’t understand I love the fact that they are teenagers.”

At this point they either totally understand what I mean or they look like I’ve grown two heads. To those who get it there needs to be no other explanation. to everyone else I’m happy to.

I no longer have to deal with temper tantrums. The whiny, high pitched screaming and crying, the world is coming to an end because I can’t have my way bratitude.

OH  my teens are good at drama but I get to tell them their drama doesn’t work on me and go whine to someone else. At this point they understand that mom isn’t buying into the b.s. So they rarely try it anymore.

I don’t have to walk on, step on, step over, constantly pick up, constantly remind,  am surrounded by toys both new and broken. It’s not a fight to toss crap that doesn’t work anymore. My house doesn’t resemble a pre-school playroom. I don’t find cars in the bathroom sink, or balls behind the doors and under the couch. I don’t have to hear the screams of “I had it first.” “It’s mine” “You weren’t playing with it.” ” Mom he/she hit me with.” “Mom he/she broke my…” OMG, the freedom when you don’t have to deal with that any longer.

I can go to the bathroom all by myself!!!!!! I don’t have to tick off a check list when we all pile in a vehicle to go somewhere. I was able to get rid of the mom mobile and slip into a sweet Jeep…

If I hear the phrase “I’m bored” I tell them its nice outside, you’ve got your phone have fun and check in later. I no longer have to provide the entertainment. AND it is a BEAUTIFUL thing to have. I’m totally not exaggerating here. I can take off whenever I want, wherever I want, anytime I want and not have to worry about paying a babysitter or being home at a certain time.

And while all of that is fabulous, the best part is that my kids are awesome. They are fun to be around. They are interesting and bright. They love music and art. Sports and trying new things. Each of them is so very different from the other- which is great because I’ve known people who have stepford kids- and they are scary little buggers)

My oldest makes me laugh harder than anyone I know and loves live music as much as I do. He’s also elected himself to be my personal bodyguard and at 6’3″ he likes to think he I need to be protected.(He knows his mom is a bad-ass and doesn’t need anyone’s protection…lol)

My middle son is 6 ft tall at 14. Insane I know and insanely smart. I mean its ridiculous that I produced a genius who will have earned one year of college credit when he graduates high school.

And my daughter a musical prodigy who can play any instrument you give her with a little time. Their life has not been easy. They don’t have the latest and greatest electronics and clothes and whatever crap that people kill themselves to give to their kids. They had to use their xmas and birthday money to buy their own cell phones. I’m not trying to be the bad mom but I do try to instill the fact that they have to earn what they get. That its hard work and effort that will propel you forward in life.

I won’t allow them to be whiny, spoiled, the world revolves around me whimp- asses- you know the type. The ones where mommy and daddy never let them learn from their mistakes. Didn’t tell them NO. Where mom didn’t allow dad to be the man of the house and dad just faded into the back ground. That world where there are no winners or losers. Where parents try to live vicariously through their children those are the worst.

I just want to grab them by the collar and shout “wake up. You don’t get a do-over. Your child hood sucked….get over it.” The fight behind closed doors because apparently they think kids are stupid and don’t realize that they know exactly whats going on and whats being said.

I had someone think it was appalling that I swore in front of my kids. New flash-my kids , your kids know every cuss word in the book. You should hear how they talked after school as small as first grade.

For all my “Fuck Ups.” and the “I can believe you do that in front of your kids” and “I never do that in front of my kids” I laugh now. I have the most well-adjusted, normal kids on the planet. Are they perfect…not by a long shot. But then neither am I. I’m proud of the people they are growing up to be. I may not like everything they do and I’m positive there will be issues in the future-there always are. But I know that we can work through anything.

They will never stop challenging me or seeing how far they can push me and I expect that. Just like I will always call their bluff when they threaten to run away or quit school or all the other things kids their age LOVE to do. It’s a work in progress and I love it. I love this age. I love the talks, I love being goofy. I love it that it drives my 17 yr old crazy that his friends love me and if he gets mouthy they punch him (hehehe…its way too funny) I point is, a lot of people look at the teen years with dread and for a lot of people I suppose it isn’t what they’d hoped it would be. But I think that had more to do with what the expectations of the parents are. It’s not really about how the kids are. When you stifle who a kid really is, when you try to turn them into something they aren’t they will fight you. When you act disappointed because they don’t measure up to your expectations they feel it. And when you’ve coddled them as children you are setting them up for failure. Because in the real world people don’t care if things are fair…let’s face most of the time the world ISN’T fair. Most of the time things DO NOT go YOUR way. And if you don’t teach your kids to adapt to different situations then be prepared for them to live with you or for you to bail them out until the day you die!

Enjoy your teenagers, every goofy, laughable, tear-filled, drama inspired moment. Give them room to breath, to express who they are, to fulfill their dreams-NOT YOURS, don’t expect them to know the answers, let them make mistakes and don’t make everything alright. They have to learn on their own sometimes. My oldest son is reaping what he has sown from some bad choices he made over the past year. I’m not standing over him saying I told you so. My only question has been “What have you learned from this?” Of course you know I had a huge smile on my face when he said “I should listen to you.” Now I ask you, what more could a mother ask for?

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