Taking time away!!!!!!!

I’ve made no secret that the last few years have been rough for me. Each and every time I think I’ve got it licked, I get kicked in the ass again.

Struggling to find my voice has failed over and over. Banging my head against the wall so to speak has reached an end point for me. All the drama going on in the publishing world and never-ending chaos in my personal life has made me incredibly tired.

With a large back log of stories that should have been written years ago, coupled with trying to establish myself as a solo author by releasing books at regular intervals has been impossible.

All the back stabbing, rumor, anger, hatred and everything else within the publishing world, I’ve tried very hard to ignore has impeded my sales and my earnings. Not by my hands but just by being an author who is associated with this person or that person. This company or that company. The negative bullshit has worn me out. I’m taking this time to stay out of the fray and finish some long over due books that mean a lot to me.

My personal life that has seen as much if not more drama in the last few years has also worn me down. The fact that I haven’t finished a book in a year weighs heavily on me every single day. I’ve been writing since I was six with stacks of notebooks and hundreds of word files and I’m not having fun any more. It feels like a knife in the heart and I’m done waking up every morning only to relieve the day before in a never-ending nightmarish reel.

Until I find enjoyment in what I write again, I’ll never finish anything.

I’m done with liars, cheaters, swindlers and misogynists. Mean spirited people who use others to get ahead in this world with no conscious or remorse. I’m not dealing with selfishness and I’m done trying to bolster others egos, especially considering they don’t return the favor and generally once they have what want from you, they turn on you in the most viscous of ways. They are silent, sticking that knife in your back until they have broken you.

So I’m taking a page from the book of an old friend and walking away. I hope to be back sooner rather than later but I can’t continue to deal with all the issues that surround me at the moment..

I would like to thank the assholes who’ve shown me that most people lookout only for themselves. That words are indeed hallow and you have to be very choosy about who you can depend on.

Dealing with this shit-some of it my own doing- has turned me into a cynical woman who assumes everyone has an agenda they’re hiding and if you get in their way, they will shred you to pieces. It’s turned me into a person I don’t even recognize anymore and I’m sick there rarely few good days, sprinkled among the shit.

Until I know what it feels like to be happy again, to love and believe what I write, to be the good person I used to be and to be thankful for each and everyday I can’t do this anymore.

I will work on wip’s that I love and am proud to write. And I will fulfill the obligations that were made to people who really believed in me when I started out.

I no longer have the stomach for figuring out who is genuine and who couldn’t tell the truth if it smacked them between the eyes. While this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write, I wanted to explain to those who have bought my books that I can’t write what I don’t feel or believe. It wouldn’t be fair because readers are very perceptive and they realize when an author’s heart is not in a story.

I hope to be back on top of my game soon but I’m not going to force something that just isn’t there.

Thank you to my readers and friends,

Sierra