We all feel it, especially around holiday time. There are those years where you look up and say WTF and wonder how you landed into the middle of windstorm, surrounded in family drama.

Wed. I set a surgery date for my youngest. He’s upset that he won’t be able to do Winter Percussion at the school.

Thurs. My father has been sick with bronchitis, he’s 74 and even though he’s in awesome shape it’s still harder for them to fight off an infection. So he asked me to take my mom to the Orthopedist. My mom had knee replacement surgery 2 years ago and hasn’t recovered. after numerous falls in her home and several trips to the emergency room we finally found a Dr. to give us a second opinion.Sure enough he told us that her knee wasn’t put in well and that it needed to be redone. So she went ahead with the surgery at the end of Sept and into rehabilitation center and had been progressing really well. She was getting ready to move onto walking with a cane when she wakes up one morning and her patella has shifted again (the original problem with the first surgery.)

I pick her up and get her in the car. It takes some time as she can’t stand up on her own and can barely move one foot. Tuck away we drive to the office and sure enough she needs a 3rd surgery. I know, a lot of people would say screw that but in our case my mom has to be able to get around her house without help. She’s over weight and so helping her up is difficult. Their house is small and not wheelchair accessible and it wouldn’t fit any of the equipment I would need to care for her full-time. I get her back to the rehab place and they tell me my mom is being released the following day.” Really? I asked and then told them that she can’t even stand. What do you think I should do?” This is foreign territory for me. I spoke with her case worker and he gave me a list of the paperwork he needed to get medicaid for my mom. If she needed 24 hour care we are going to have to put her in a place she can get it and they aren’t cheap.

I go to my parents house and my dad and I begin the search for all the paperwork. We only needed some bank statements and had to wait until the next day. Easy enough right? Ha…not even close. 12:50 a.m. I get a panicked call from my brother. Mom fell at rehab and they think she may have had a stroke. Holy fuck!!!

I haul ass to the hospital and made it up before my brother. All her tests came back clear. No stroke-though she’s really out of it. They decide to keep her. Sigh of relief. Only because it buys us more time to figure out what we may need to do. I leave the hospital at 5:30 a.m and go home to get my kids up for school. The brats…it takes forever  to get them up. Oh I know what you’re thinking-Don’t wake them up. They’ll learn fast and get themselves up. Okay, I tried that with my older kid, didn’t work. He was late to school everyday for over a week.

Make breakfast, nag the kids until the roll out of bed. I get them off to school and come home, hoping to get a few hours sleep. But no- it sounded like a solid plan to me- except I couldn’t close my eyes. Again WTF?

My dad picks me up a few hours later and we head to the bank, stop for some really suckey breakfast. Head up to the rehab place and meet with Travis the caseworker. He brings me home and I go pick up the boys from school. My daughter will be another hour because she had something to do afterschool.

Okay, so here is the really fun part. I drop the boys off at home. My oldest has to be at work at 2:45, but my daughter needs to be picked up at 3:10. I let my oldest take my car and my dad and I went and got my daughter. We dropped her off at home (my hubby isn’t blowing me off-he’s been at work all day and hasn’t gotten home) and head up to the hospital. Visit with mom and finally I’m back home around 8 p.m. No sleep, hungry and ready to take a flight to Jamaica, I crash and didn’t wait up until 6:00 a.m. Sat  morning.

Disaster under control for now. Oh and my husbands uncle passed suddenly and he’s been making travel plans up north. A nice 4 and a half hour drive when its nice. But in the north in Michigan they get hammered and had been during the week. On Tuesday when he plans to return home, they are supposed to now have snow showers.

Three days with very little sleep and a hell of a lot of worry and today I feel good. In the past I would have been a wreck but this time I’m dealing with it so much better. I’m grateful for the peace that I’ve been able to find in my life. It’s been a long time since I’ve been this content and I’m definitely taking advantage of it and navigate through the chaos during the holidays.


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