Gratitude

I woke up this morning at my usual 5:30, even though it’s a holiday, I’ve discovered it’s better to keep to my waking schedule until the school year is out. As I’m sitting here trying to wake and eventually get ready to take my boy for his post surgery appointment, I started to list the things I’m truly grateful for. A nice reminder of where I want to go in 2015.

1. I’m grateful for the 27 pounds I’ve lost. I fell back into old habits, using food to comfort me through a pretty hellish time in my life. But as I’ve changed my attitude, the weight has melted off.

2. Accepting that I will never be perfect. As much as I long for a bikini, it just isn’t going to happen and it’s okay. Trying to live up to some idealized body is not only unrealistic but could be damaging to your psyche. Loving your physical flaws can be hard but once you do, there is freedom in it like no other.

3. Understanding- no matter how much I fought the idea that I’ve learned some great lessons so far. How to treat people. How to appreciate the time I have spent with them without all the negative feelings that used to go along with it.

4. Taking the blame for my behavior and my role in my life. I don’t laminate over the woulda, coulda, shoulda’s anymore. Things  are the way they are…period.

5. I’m grateful for being able to look at myself in the mirror and not seeing a stranger looking back at me.

6. I’m happy to accept that “things” aren’t important. The euphoria of getting all the new material things in this world can’t fill the empty parts of your soul.

7. I no longer do what I don’t want to do. I also do exactly what I want it that I like.

8.I’m grateful that I’m no longer having fits of jealousy of what isn’t there.

9. I’m especially grateful for letting go of the anger that’s plagued me for sooo long.

10. I’m grateful for my family. No it’s not the perfect Norman Rockwell kind but it’s real. Game nights, where we compete like it’s our last game and laugh and where more than a few cuss words are dropped. We’re forced to live in a very small house but what I’ve discovered is that it forces us to be together more versus spread out in a huge home. My kids are great with having only one bathroom and no there is no fighting to get in.

11. My friends, because a person without friends, is a person who will be lonely forever.

12. Great, awesome, mind-blowing, fantastic SEX. There is nothing better on earth and I’m a really lucky girl.

13. THE MUSE IS BACK! Whispering the words to my books again. It was difficult when I had nothing to write about but I’ve been able to turn it around.

14.  Finally understanding that things are the way they are. There is no cosmic plot to make my life miserable. That I can’t control the universe and that as long as I live my life being honest with myself and taking things one day at a time. I do live for today…waiting until tomorrow to enjoy yourself might never come. Waiting for the day when your kids are grown, or pay off that mortgage, or even what you’re going to have for dinner the next week. You’re not promised anything beyond this moment and so many people waste their precious time on earth planning, preparing and thinking about things that may never come to pass. Do what you want now.

Think about it and live the life you want, a life that makes your soul full and you go to bed and wake up happy. You can’t say I’ll be happy soon because deep down we all know that never really comes. Hours turn into days, days turn into years and while you were waiting to be happy soon, you find yourself close to death and realize that soon never came.

Wishing you happiness today….

Sierra

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