A dose of reality…

Every couple of years the DH and I talk about moving. We could use a little bit bigger house. I mean there are 5 of us in 1100 sq ft and 1 bathroom. All 3 of my kids are teenagers. Yes, you’re reading it right- 3 teenagers and 1 bathroom.

I used to get pissed I was stuck in my little house but there are some very positive things about living in a small space. The first is the kids had to learn to share, to wait there turn and to be patient.Sometimes there are arguments but not as many as you might think. It just proves the point that kids don’t NEED more than one bathroom though it would be much more convenient…lol….We have survived and without a ton of drama.

The other part of a small house is we are forced to be together. Unless they hide in their bedrooms, we are together. It makes you really enjoy any alone time you may have and you get to know your kids better I think.

I was out looking at houses in our price range. Which is pretty generous and there are some beautiful homes out there. While these homes are beautiful in a home & gardens kind of way, I found them to be so fucking obnoxious and pretentious that I knew without a doubt I could never be happy in one of them.

Yes, they are pretty but beyond the amenities and the large rooms there is a coldness about them. I realized these weren’t homes for families, these homes were bought as a sign of money.

“Look what I can afford,” “I’m successful, I’m important and don’t you wish you were me?” It doesn’t matter if I don’t use half the rooms in my house- at least it looks pretty.”

I’ve never been a fan of museum quality homes. It’s such a waste of space. Homes are meant to be a place where you relax, gather as a family, get loud, laugh, have fun parties and make lots of memories. What kind of memories can you make when this room or that room is only ever occupied when you have company? It’s another example of owning a home just to show off to others that, you are important.

Inevitably, most of these home are in “Communities” complete with home owners associations, who have a book of rules about what you can and can not do with and around your home. I’m sorry if some people prefer to live like stepford families. Everyone conforms, no one has any real personality and you do as you’re told because you think the world wants your life. I’ve known people who spend a good part of their earnings paying a mortgage, paying ridiculous taxes for the privilege to be one of the “Lucky” ones.

I can’t imagine just how exhausting it is to live for what others think. To have to constrain who you are in order to fit in with the “Right Crowd.” I actually feel a profound amount of pity for those who think they aren’t successful unless they fit into the above profile.

Would I like a bigger house? Sure, but not much bigger than what I have. I like not being a slave to my environment. I like having the freedom to do what I want with my home inside and out. I like not being judged by what I have or how much it cost. I like living with all different kinds of people-real people, flawed people not the kind who keep up the appearance of the perfect family unit while inside they die a little more everyday. But who needs happiness and peace of mind when you live in a big rambling place and everyone around you tells you how lucky you are. How awesome you are. How you’ve hit the big time.

Some of the most fucked up people I’ve known, lived to fit in and have the right kind of life. Who mistake having things as a sign of how they stand among their peers. It’s a twisted kind of logic and once I had fallen into that trap. If only I lived here…If only I made more….if only…if only…

I’ve stopped wishing for what would never have made me happy in the first place. Where things are polite and proper and any real, feelings are swept under the rug because you don’t want to upset the robotic existence you’ve chosen.

Will I ever move- I don’t really know. I’ve lived in my home for 20 yrs.but if we do decide to move I sure as hell am not going to live in a place where I have to pay just to have the privilege of living there. I’m not going to pay 10 or 15 grand a year in taxes. That’s a month-long trip to Europe and yet people think nothing of paying it. Why? Because they get to have the ooh’s and aaah’s of others when they see all they have.

I’d rather have the trip to Europe and a lifetime of memories to go with it.

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