Finding the Good even during a Full Moon!

Make no mistake, this sun worshiping, fire sign Lioness and Lady Moon do not have a good relationship. Wolves howl at the full moon and I just wanna hiss at it.

Bad moods and full moons affect a lot of people. I’m not sure why….maybe it’s the changing tides, an energy flow issue…who the hell knows.

What I do know is that last night after the bitch was high in the sky, ( I didn’t realize it was going to be full) I started thinking – not about the daily stuff but about other things – and I was yet again tempted to release a verbal bitch fest on here.

I started it full of self- righteous indignation, ready to impart my thoughts on things. I was halfway through when I got up to do some things around the house. I go outside for a minute to let the dogs out and BAM! There it is, shining bright and I just smiled, came back in and hit delete on my original post.

I know I write a lot about these moments but they are big moments for me. Every time I don’t give in to my impulse to go on a rant is a win and it gets easier and easier as time passes.

There are certain facts I can’t change and have accepted. Not because I want to but because that is the way it is.I won’t ever give my power over to anything ever again.

I can do this with a smile, a little humor and because I don’t want to ruin the direction my life is going. I want to continue to have gratitude and appreciation for all I’ve been given.

Having a sense of who you are, liking the person you are, being kind to everyone without expecting anything back, letting go of the negative, excising the toxic things that can suck the wind out of you is priceless. No amount of money or fame can give you this kind of feeling and when the good days far out weigh the bad, you know your headed in the right direction.

Assess and Renew

After 4 months in the store I’ve spent the day assessing what I’ve learned, what I still need to learn and what has and has not worked. I think I’ve adjusted pretty well as I’ve had to along the way. The key for me is not to panic or let myself feel out of control. To let any B.S. roll off my shoulders and to keep a big dose of humor handy.

Humor has become a really great way for me to let off steam and the only tears involved are when I’m laughing so hard I can’t stop myself. It’s quite embarrassing but better that than stalking about with a flurry of cuss words streaming from my mouth in every vocabulary form there is.

I’m was able to transfer this Epiphany over into my personal life….kind of…at least if I’m night PMSing and at my age that’s happening more than one week a month. Ahhhh Peri-menopause you’re a heartless bitch.

I’ve blasted through some of my goals and fulfilled some of my dreams. Others I’ve fallen short of but will still work on, just finding a better way to continue. I’ve given myself three years to accomplish ten things both personal and professional. They range from physical, mental, emotional, financial and professional and they aren’t small ones.

My birthday is in a couple of weeks and I think about how I am now compared to a year ago and it is night and day. I’m so looking forward to each and every fucking day now because I know it’s not going to be the same old thing. There will always be something new. It’s going to take work but I’ve never been afraid of a little work and you know if you don’t work for it you’ll never appreciate it…not really because you’ll always feel like you didn’t earn it. That’s what people are always saying and I have to agree.

I’m so fucking thankful for everything in my life and appreciate those who mean more to me than anything else in the world.

Yes, this is one Lucky Leo Lioness…….

 

Come Undone

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I was talking with a fellow writer today about the Curvy Shorts Series that I’m doing. The first one, Burn, should be done this week. When I told her I wanted to do the purely Erotica stories she thought it was a great idea.

Since the running theme in these stories isn’t about love – it’s about chemistry – I wanted to get her opinion on the direction the story has gone. It’s kind of hard to leave out any sort of feelings and I decided not to. No, love is still not the end game to these stories, but as a romance writer, I have to leave the possibility there- no matter how far off in the distance that may be. The stories will end with the knowledge that it’s entirely possible for the people I write about to continue.

Then what is the point beyond writing sex scenes for nothing more than titillation. I still wanted to find something just a little more.

This made me think of the song Come Undone by my favorite band Duran Duran. By coming undone, I’m not referring to the woman getting her world rocked ( though of course she always does) I wanted to show what happens when a man comes undone during and after the most combustible sex he’s ever had. If you have been there then you know that it pretty much freaks most men out even if they’re in a relationship but imagine it with someone they aren’t in one with.

When a man has been physically and emotionally put through the ringer they don’t know how to deal with the vulnerability they are feeling at the moment. The idea of losing control of your body and emotions are over-whelming to a lot of men, who aren’t “supposed” to ever feel that way.  Especially if they’ve usually been happy to get a ten minute micro session, a couple of times a week.

The reactions vary from anger to sulky, to finding a way out as soon as possible. Often opting for the safe, boring route. I get it. I mean who wants to allow someone else to have the power to take you places you’ve only ever read about and what the hell do you do with it once you get there? I’ve known plenty of people like this who walk away, unable to deal with being stripped down to nothing and then instead of enjoying these rare things, they get the fuck out of dodge.

But what if after their initial fear they leave open all the possibilities of the scary fucking unknown?

What I hope comes across is not only an incredibly hot read, where almost anything can happen and where HER pleasure is always priority, my male protagonists will get hooked on what she does to him, how she makes him feel – powerful, wanted, needed and his lover pulls out of him everything he needs and nothing he thinks he wants.

Sex is easy. Yes, it is….but it’s so much more. You can’t be taught, you either have it or you don’t. The connection is either there or it isn’t. Where there is nothing legal off limits….lol. Where there is no rejection and no fear of rejection for your fantasy’s and kinks.

There is nothing demeaning because both parties want the same things and it takes a pretty strong personality not to allow convention to dictate what is acceptable and what isn’t. I promised myself I wouldn’t ever again deny what makes me who I am and why I like what I like.

Hopefully that kind of raw grit and desire can come across on the page. Again these aren’t romances, but they are the flames that threaten to Burn each and every one who is brave enough to dance in the fire.

Rlease date for Egyptian Touch- Bastet’s Warriors book #2

August 5th

  The release date for my new book from Ellora’s Cave. I can’t believe it’s finally happened. I’ve finally been able to release something new. I wanna dance and sing and tell the world I love them…lol.

  I can’t express just how humble and grateful I am with how this year has turned out so far. I really never thought I’d ever reach this place again. I’d forgotten what a high it is to publish something others want to read.

I love those of you who’ve always believed in me and encouraged me to keep trying, that one day it would come again. Surprisingly, I’m also thankful for those who said I couldn’t. I learned something valuable in their hateful words. I learned about the type of person I wanted to be and not to let anything get in the way.

  For now I’m just going to enjoy this moment, this day.

EgyptianTouch_HiRes

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Ben &  Jen, Blake & Miranda just to name a few are getting divorced. I’m not sure why it’s such huge news when this happens to a celebrity couple. I do know that when these things are announced the two reactions I generally have are “Wow, that’s too bad.” The other is “What happened?”

Stars are just people after all. They have the same thoughts and feelings as the rest of us. The difference they live in the spot light and have loads of cash.

When it seems like there are very few people who stayed married when you’re famous it  makes you look at your situation and wonder.

We know in that people who are unhappy stay together for the kids, stay together for security and stay together for the money. It’s makes me curious and wonder would marriage statistics be worse if we were all financially stable.

First marriage divorce rated are upwards of 60%, second ones moves up to over 75 % divorce rates and climbs even more with each additional marriage.

It’s obvious as people move from one relationship to another, they aren’t taking they lessons they learned from the first one and changing what needs to be changed. I’ve seen it with some my of my own family members. And it scares me.

At this point if something happened to the DH, I can’t even imagine entering the dating game. I don’t think I’d be too interested in doing that. And would most likely prefer to live alone. I wouldn’t want to get all caught up in trying to get to know someone. Deal with someone elses baggage, kids, mistakes in life…etc…

I thought at one point maybe I could deal with that. But now I’m glad I don’t. I’m not really cynical about love, I’m cynical about everything else.You can love someone with everything you have but there are other factors to consider when it comes to relationships, especially for people my age.

A lot of times we make choices not based on what we’re feeling but what the other person makes us feel like. We see things that aren’t really there or we hope things will click eventually.

It’s a mess that I’m happy I don’t have to deal with. When you see all of the public divorces and read about how people behave and what they turn into during these times it makes you queasy. I don’t ever want to be filled with the kind of anger and venom that happens with these kinds of break-ups. I’ve seen my share and have been guilty of wanting revenge and bad things to happen when I’ve felt fucked over.

I think we need to stop looking to the “Elites” for the ideal marriage. It’s nothing more than smoke and mirrors and can really fuck with your idea of what love is.

Divorce is on the rise. Especially for women who are financially secure and who’s children are grown.

It’s always just a little sad when these things hit the papers but unlike the rest of us, they can cut, run and hide until the storm passes and they’ve moved on.

It keeps romance writers in business as we imagine what the perfect love story could be and should be.

Love can be fickle. Emotions are messy and you can feel like your chest has been ripped open at times. I never look to the rich and famous for proof of what love really is and never will because you walk away disappointed. If two people have everything they’ve ever wanted- Career, money, beauty and opportunity and they can’t make it work for the long haul what kind of hope does the regular Joe have?

It shows me what I’ve always thought was true. You can have everything in the world. You can appear to have the good life and don’t have to worry about paying the bills. From the outside you look like you have everything anyone could want but in reality. When you’re alone you can also have the loneliest existence, no one to really talk to, no one you really ever trust.

I think we’ve spent way too much time trying to “Look” like we have the perfect marriage and basking in the compliments from people who tell us we have a great family etc…If that were enough, people wouldn’t be haunted in the quiet moments by questions or regret.

While these starts divorces don’t affect me in any way, they serve as a reminder that the “Goods” things in life won’t always sustain a marriage that doesn’t serve everyone’s needs. Especially our own.

Having said all of that though I will end this by saying that true love and partnerships do exist. It’s sometimes in the last place you’d ever look but it’s out there for the taking.

New Erotica

I’m almost finished with a short erotica story. This is a hot sex-fest, where two people meet and have such chemistry they come together and raise the temperature in every place they find themselves. This isn’t a love story, though there is room for that down the road.

I prefer to think of this story the prequel to a serious romance. But this isn’t about love. It’s about that connection we’ve all felt at one time or another. It goes beyond getting naked and having a little hot sex. It’s A LOT of hot sex with many, many orgasms and lots of aches, moans, kissing, pumping, licking, and penetrating.

Written to tease and to tantalize and hopefully drive you a little nuts to the point that when your partner walks through the door, you attack them.

These shorts are fun to write, especially when you’ve experienced this type of chemistry and want to read about others who have it. I should be through in about a week or so and will have it up on Amazon for .99 cents.

Here’s the cover for the new little series I’m calling Curvy Shorts.

Book 1 is Burn…It’s pretty simple but I love it.

Burn

 

Your opinion matters!

Last night was book club. We read the fabulous S.E.Smith’s Gracie’s Touch. All the girls enjoyed the book and I was happy to have picked a self-pubbed author, who happens to be very popular.

H.A.Fortman another self published author who will be signing in my store next Saturday came last night. She is so much fun and the girls loved her. Bringing the book club back has been soooo much fun. There are 8 of us now and we have a blast.

I like the book club to be relaxed. Everyone’s opinion matters even if we disagree. I think it’s horrible when you try to suppress someone Else’s view on things. When you can’t at least listen to someone’s views, and try to effectively shut them down you are missing out on so much. People look at things through their life experiences and they are always different from yours. Trying to FORCE others to your side is selfish. Dismissing their feelings can back fire. People don’t like to feel that their views are stupid.

I’ve always encouraged others to have their own opinions about everything.I don’t want to be surrounded by a “yes man/woman” I want to hear your thoughts. It could change my perspective on a subject. We could agree to disagree but its beyond disrespectful to discount what others think. You don’t have to change your mind but you don’t have the right to poo-poo others. You don’t have the right to belittle others even if you don’t agree with them.

I’m happy that the book club has room for everyone and their views.

On another note. It’s been so fucking hot and humid the past two days. In the low 90’s and the humidity is above 60% and it’s miserable to a lot of people. I know that my hips have been hurting everyday and if I don’t keep moving I end up getting really stiff and the pain increases.

I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH THIS FOR ANY PROLONGED PERIOD OF TIME. I get why seniors can take it. They tend to be cold most of the time due to circulation and other factors that happen as you age.

I didn’t want to complain about the weather but this is beyond oppressive. It sucks because you end up being shut in the house to get relief. I HATE SHUTTING UP MY HOUSE. I would cook out o n the grill everyday during the summer but in this kind of weather you just can’t and that’s bummer me out a little.

About the only thing this weather has helped with are my vegetables which are growing like mad. Homemade salsa and spaghetti sauce are on their way and hopefully I’ll be able to have enough to can for this winter. Next year I’m definitely making it bigger to include spinach, lettuce, more onions, green beans and I may venture into pumpkins- Home made pumpkin pies- YUMMY.

I love my little garden. There is nothing better than to watch a seed, germinate and grow into a plant. Yes, I do talk to my plants. I enjoy the weeding and getting my hands dirty. I like that my hands have helped something to grow big and strong. It reminds me of the garden my granny always had-although hers was much larger. I loved spending time picking with her. Sitting on the porch, snapping beans and shucking corn. It is relaxing, looks beautiful and reminds me how awesome nature is.

So next year the DH will build me a couple of more garden boxes so that I can expand my variety of veggies. You can can and freeze so many of them. I’m also going to hit up the apple orchard this fall and go about making apple sauce and apple butter to have for the winter. We get so caught up in the fast paced world we live in that a lot of people have forgotten the very simple things that make life fun.

Again I’ve made my world as simple as possible and it’s working beautifully.

 

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