Breakdown!!!!!!!

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  Those who know me, understand that I’m an advocate for mental health issues. I tell my little story of dealing with Bi-polar 2 disorder Not to gain any sympathy but only to inform people of the signs. A little of my experiences and to encourage anyone who thinks someone they love may fit the symptoms can intervene in some way.

First of all THERE IS NO SHAME- no matter how ignorant some people are about what it means to live with this.

It starts with a chemical imbalance that affects your mood. There are two states- The manic ( no sleep, racing thoughts, risky behavior, addiction, over inflated ego, no impulse control. etc)

Then you get the lovely bouts of depression, which last a hell of a lot longer than the mania ( you sleep- a lot, crying spells, feeling worthless, irritable _Think PMS times 10- , you prefer to be alone.) Be warned DEPRESSION always follows the mania and can last for a day or years.

 I’m attaching a link that explains 21 signs of Bipolar disorder.

It’s a quick read that gives the reader the gist of what to look for.

http://www.thetrendingstories.com/es/78/page2/21-Warning-Signs-Someone-Is-Bipolar

 

Anything can set someone with this off. Good or bad. I never knew what would cause me to go from one extreme to another. When you cycle from mania to depression it can be rapid- where you go back and forth at any given time. Or you can have one or two manic episodes and then fall into a depression and not cycle again for years.

I never took it too seriously. I didn’t take my meds half the time. I was in therapy and it helped for a while. When I left a yr or so ago, it was only because I was re-hashing the same things over and over again. But therapy saved me. When I was forced to get serious about my disease, I learned different tools that I use today to keep me in check. Although it’s not perfect. The extreme highs and lows have stayed for the most part. There are peeks every now and then but I have a list of things I can do to calm me, or even me out.

I also take my meds. Even if I feel like I don’t want to take them anymore, I force myself. I have a memory that I think of whenever I’m tempted to skip a dose. Unlike some folks, I don’t have any odd side effects- which is a sign to me that I’m on the right cocktail- I’m don’t want around like a zombie, I don’t have brain fog, I’m normal..lol…whatever that is.

At least now, I no longer feel ashamed by the label Bi-polar. I don;t care who thinks I’m crazy or a bitch or whatever they choose to say. Trust me I’ve been called everything so at this point when someone says something shitty, it doesn’t phase me. I know the early signs and so do those who love me. They know to say something to let me know I’m not acting quite right. This allows me to go back to certain regiments that have helped to keep me from falling too hard or flying too high.

Learn to take care of yourself, to accept yourself and to make you a priority. This can be controlled and you can live a perfectly normal life. Just don’t ever feel like you’re alone, you’re a freak or you have nothing to live for.

  Remember, you matter. To those who love you, you do matter.

 

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