Not Beaten!!!!

Okay first,

I picked up my kiddies yesterday. My daughter full of hugs and I love you and my son gave me a “Hey Mom.” in his baritone voice. I know every boy goes through this when he reaches a certain age but I don’t have to like it. All I had to do was finger wave him over and with an eye roll, he left his card game and hugged me. We watched a great performance by the kids in the RED band. It was amazing to hear what 173 kids can learn to play in twelve days.

A couple of days before, my editor e-mailed to remind me that my edits were due and when did I think I could have them completed. I typed back that I would have them to her on Sunday.

It left me with very little time to not only do the edits but I changed the heroine’s personality. I’d made her sort of whiney and weak, which my editor mentioned to me. As I read through the MS, I actually cringed and I went through every word and changed what made her annoying. When the book was originally finished,” I’d been in the dark place” and it was reflected in my writing.

I was editing/re-writing all the way up North Saturday night. Again when I woke up, on the way home….Then a marathon session last night, finished it about 7:00 this morning and sent it on its way.

I have finally gotten through my issues with incorporating love in the context of sex. I just hadn’t been able to make the love and the sex work. I simply wasn’t in that space emotionally.

Now that things have changed for me this year, I was FINALLY able to finish a scene and love it. The sex is SPECTACULAR –  with lots of eyes rolling back in ecstasy, writhing bodies and amid the wild and crazy, hot and multiple orgasm giving sex-fests there is the underlying truth that these two love each other. It took me a long time before I believed in that again but I do…You might think the fire in you has gone out but it never really does, all it takes is a little gas to stoke the flames higher than before.

Another bump in the road made smooth again and I’m so grateful.


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