D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Ben &  Jen, Blake & Miranda just to name a few are getting divorced. I’m not sure why it’s such huge news when this happens to a celebrity couple. I do know that when these things are announced the two reactions I generally have are “Wow, that’s too bad.” The other is “What happened?”

Stars are just people after all. They have the same thoughts and feelings as the rest of us. The difference they live in the spot light and have loads of cash.

When it seems like there are very few people who stayed married when you’re famous it  makes you look at your situation and wonder.

We know in that people who are unhappy stay together for the kids, stay together for security and stay together for the money. It’s makes me curious and wonder would marriage statistics be worse if we were all financially stable.

First marriage divorce rated are upwards of 60%, second ones moves up to over 75 % divorce rates and climbs even more with each additional marriage.

It’s obvious as people move from one relationship to another, they aren’t taking they lessons they learned from the first one and changing what needs to be changed. I’ve seen it with some my of my own family members. And it scares me.

At this point if something happened to the DH, I can’t even imagine entering the dating game. I don’t think I’d be too interested in doing that. And would most likely prefer to live alone. I wouldn’t want to get all caught up in trying to get to know someone. Deal with someone elses baggage, kids, mistakes in life…etc…

I thought at one point maybe I could deal with that. But now I’m glad I don’t. I’m not really cynical about love, I’m cynical about everything else.You can love someone with everything you have but there are other factors to consider when it comes to relationships, especially for people my age.

A lot of times we make choices not based on what we’re feeling but what the other person makes us feel like. We see things that aren’t really there or we hope things will click eventually.

It’s a mess that I’m happy I don’t have to deal with. When you see all of the public divorces and read about how people behave and what they turn into during these times it makes you queasy. I don’t ever want to be filled with the kind of anger and venom that happens with these kinds of break-ups. I’ve seen my share and have been guilty of wanting revenge and bad things to happen when I’ve felt fucked over.

I think we need to stop looking to the “Elites” for the ideal marriage. It’s nothing more than smoke and mirrors and can really fuck with your idea of what love is.

Divorce is on the rise. Especially for women who are financially secure and who’s children are grown.

It’s always just a little sad when these things hit the papers but unlike the rest of us, they can cut, run and hide until the storm passes and they’ve moved on.

It keeps romance writers in business as we imagine what the perfect love story could be and should be.

Love can be fickle. Emotions are messy and you can feel like your chest has been ripped open at times. I never look to the rich and famous for proof of what love really is and never will because you walk away disappointed. If two people have everything they’ve ever wanted- Career, money, beauty and opportunity and they can’t make it work for the long haul what kind of hope does the regular Joe have?

It shows me what I’ve always thought was true. You can have everything in the world. You can appear to have the good life and don’t have to worry about paying the bills. From the outside you look like you have everything anyone could want but in reality. When you’re alone you can also have the loneliest existence, no one to really talk to, no one you really ever trust.

I think we’ve spent way too much time trying to “Look” like we have the perfect marriage and basking in the compliments from people who tell us we have a great family etc…If that were enough, people wouldn’t be haunted in the quiet moments by questions or regret.

While these starts divorces don’t affect me in any way, they serve as a reminder that the “Goods” things in life won’t always sustain a marriage that doesn’t serve everyone’s needs. Especially our own.

Having said all of that though I will end this by saying that true love and partnerships do exist. It’s sometimes in the last place you’d ever look but it’s out there for the taking.

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