Moving on!

With all the excitement I had on Friday evening, I shouldn’t have been surprised that Saturday would somehow end up with a problem.

Of course what did happen was both something I hadn’t expected but when I found out it really didn’t surprise me. My impulsive, doesn’t think before he acts 18 yr old son took his Uncle’s Mustang for the night and was busted racing down Telegraph Rd. This stretch of road hosts Michigan’s Dream Cruise every year.

Cruising down Telegraph was something I did at his age. Even the boys we were with all had muscle cars from Chevelle’s to Challengers and yes on occasion they would race.

At 18 you are clueless as to the possible consequences to the dangers to doing shit like this. So when I got a phone call at midnight telling me that my boy was in jail, I wanted to slap him and hug him at the same time.

I thought he’d be okay once school was out. That institution wasn’t productive for him. With his LD and ADHD, he started school at disadvantage. One that I refused to let him use as an excuse for not trying. Unfortunately between his hatred of school and the districts inability to make his teachers enforce his I.E.P. his experience wasn’t even close to being good.

Having said that, I haven’t had to deal with drinking, smoking or drug use with him. He is vehemently against putting anything like that in his body and for that I’m grateful. In the grand scheme of life, I’ve been lucky – it hasn’t been perfect – but at least I’ve been able to avoid those kinds of issues.

Lucky for the boy, he had the money in his room to get bonded out but his punishment is just starting. He’s 18 and an adult so grounding doesn’t come into play. What does? Easy, mom and dad no longer have him on their insurance policy and he can no longer drive my Jeep. He has a big fat ticket with big fat points on his license. He’s pretty much screwed himself for the next few years.

As a parent your first instinct is to come to the rescue and “take care of it.” I learned a long time ago that coming to the “rescue” is a recipe for disaster and you’ll probably end up doing it for the rest of their lives, simply because you didn’t allow them to fall and learn to pick themselves up.

My adult son understands that mom isn’t going to make it all right for him and guess what? He didn’t throw a fit, or talk about wanting to die or that his life was over. He didn’t blame his parents for his life taking this dumb-ass turn and he’s manning up and paying the massive impound fee ( the freaking crooks charged 410.00 for having the car for 6 hours) All of this is and has come out of his pocket.

I figure there isn’t too many more painful ways for some to learn a lesson then to have to pay for shit themselves.

I’m also not going to hold it against him for the rest of his life. He knows he could have gotten hurt or hurt someone else, ripping down that damn road going as fast as he was.

It’s lucky the kid has a full-time job at night and going to school during the day or he'[d really be in it deeper than he already is. I love him and hate having to watch when painful things happen but we’ve all had to learn things the hard way. It sucks and sucks bad but it’s a necessary part of growing up and learning to be a better person for it.

He’s stubborn like his mother and his Papa, which is both good and bad. Bad because we don’t’ like to be told what to do and the more we’re told not to do something the more we end up doing it. We both can take a lot of B.S but when we lose our temper, we really lose it.

I’ve managed NOT to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. You know what Einstein said about repeating mistakes and expecting something different. It’s the definition of stupidity. I try really hard NOT to be STUPID, though for some funny reason I’ve been accused of it before. In truth my wanting to believe things were different led me to being stupid…lol….

Anyway, I know this has taught him a great deal. That as the adult that he likes to brag he is, comes a whole shit load of responsibility. With the changing times, the fact that people have continued to lower their expectations of their kids and micro-manage junior so that he/she won’t ever be unhappy it makes me happy that mine are almost all grown.

As long as he really, really learns his lesson this experience will have taught him some things that I never could have and that can only be positive.

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