Nikki what are you doing?

It doesn’t matter what side you fall on in the abortion debate, but the absolute craziness on both sides of the issue is so explosive and so full of hypocrisy that it can drive you nuts.

The amount of misinformation on the net is beyond insane. We all have the right to our beliefs. We have to the right to live by those beliefs but we don’t have the right to force anyone to believe as we do.

It’s such a divisive issue that there will never be any common ground. There will never be any clear consensus and there will never be compromise on the issue.My biggest problem with this whole mess is with the hypocrisy. Abortion is murder unless the victim is raped or the life of the mother is in question. Really? TO me, if you come from the view-point that it is indeed murder then why does rape and life of the mother matter. If the issue is the destruction of an innocent baby then it DOESN’T matter what the circumstances are for a pregnancy.

Making a decision to end a pregnancy isn’t an easy one. The psychological and physical aftermath never leaves a woman. She doesn’t forget and always wonders what if. It’s something they live with for the rest of their lives. It’s something that will haunt them until the day they die. When assumptions are made as to the reasons why a woman has to make such a life changing decision is a disservice to any woman who has or will go through what will probably be the most painful thing they have to go through.

The collective shouldn’t have the right to tell someone what they can or can’t do with their body. You have never walked the proverbial mile in their shoes. We don’t live inside the head of a woman who’s gone through this.There are thousands of circumstances that are unique to the women who have to deal with this. Until you are in such a circumstance then how can you possibly judge. To think that a woman isn’t punished everyday by her decision whether to have a child or not is foolish.

I believe everyone has the RIGHT to their Beliefs. They have the right to speak out for their beliefs whether you’re pro-life or pro-choice. Having said that you’re beliefs stop when you try to force them on another person. It’s how things work in any personal decision you have to make.

Now Texas and SC are doing their best to impose their will and political motivations on everyone else. If I believe these actions weren’t totally politically motivated I might have some respect for them. But we all know that people like this are always campaigning and their actions will be based on how close they are to election time. They will fall heavily on the side of the group who can get them elected. But choice about what happens with a woman’s body should and can never be about what the majority wants. The majority doesn’t have to live with the consequences of whether a woman has or doesn’t’ have an abortion. The majority isn’t feeding, clothing, housing, making sure the child has a father in the picture and these are things that aren’t talked about.

Neither are the men who are equal partners when a women gets pregnant. We don’t’ talk about all the men who disappear upon learning of an accidental pregnancy. We don’t’ talk about how a lot of them who find themselves in a situation like this don’t want a child. They sure as hell don’t want to pay for one. Yet we never hold them responsible for their part. It’s always left up to the woman  Are their exceptions to this. Yes of course there are.

It always makes me curious how many of the pro-lifers have adopted all the unwanted kids that are in foster care. No one ever addresses that issue and to assume one has nothing to do with the other is another example of hypocrisy.

What is clear is that we need to educate our kids. We need to make them understand that if you don’t’ use protection you might become pregnant and even if you do it still isn’t 100 percent effective. We need to teach them that pulling out doesn’t prevent pregnancies. That just because a women is on birth-control doesn’t mean that men are off the hook. Women need to make sure they are protected and if he won’t use a condom for whatever reason you might want to take a long hard look and ask yourself if you would be ready to take on the responsibility of an unexpected pregnancy. What feels good in the moment may be your worst nightmare in the long run.

It’s a messy issue and there are no winners. Everyone loses somehow. Everyone is affected. And all the damage that both sides do to each other only makes things worse.

No one will be happy where ever this issue ends up. If there is ever a conclusion to it, someone will come out the loser.

My hope is that we teach our kids better. Whether it is abstinence or the importance of protecting yourself , it’s up to us to do a better job with our kids then is happening now. We need to teach them that Sex is not Love. We need to teach them to be responsible for themselves and not count on someone else.

I do have personal views on the issue but like a lot of people it’s not as clear-cut as it is for the pro-lifers and the pro-choicer’s..

I’m just really tired the extreme right and the extreme left deciding what is best for most of us who are in the center. Logic loses when emotions are so high.

I won’t impose my beliefs on another. I won’t tell them how they should feel about such a personal thing. Nor do I want others to impose their will on me.

It doesn’t matter if I believe its right or wrong. It doesn’t matter to me if you think it’s right or wrong. We can agree to disagree. I think if we were less passionate about what to do after a pregnancy happens and more concerned with preventing things in the first place, the issue wouldn’t be so polarizing. Abortions would be fewer and far between. When men are held equally accountable for a pregnancy and don’t put the all responsibility on a women for birth control only then can a really honest discussion and solution be had. I’ve taught my sons that they need to use protection every single time. Even if she is protected, I’ve drilled into their head that there is never an exception to the condom rule. I’ve taught my daughter the same thing. If he isn’t willing to wrap it up then he isn’t worth the time.

What I do know is that to sit in judgement of a woman because of what she may or may not have done is despicable. You don’t live in her head and you don’t know the pain she carries. A little compassion can go a long way.

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