NaNo Writing Month

I’ve spent the better part of 3 yrs trying to get my shit together. Slowly putting myself back together with the help of my family and friends and a new attitude. There have been bumps and missteps but I hope I’ve learned what it is I was supposed to through it all. I know I’m better for it. I’m definitely happier then I’ve ever been and I think my attitude as shown that. Don’t get me wrong there are still nightmares and days when I wake up and want to throat punch someone but there are people who are not worthy of my love, friendship etc…I know they are worse off without me. I don’t really take any comfort from the thought and I don’t dwell on them. Moving on provides a clarity I’ve never had before. Namely, that I’m worth much more than they could ever understand.

Getting physically and mentally healthy have been my priorities and I can’t stress enough how important it is NOT to do ANYTHING that doesn’t make you happy (I’m talking about the big picture here not the little things) I’ve found that if you get bent out of shape over the small stuff, that’s indicative of a bigger problem.

Tomorrow starts NaNo writing month. I will be revisiting the world of the Longfellow women, with a new Longfellow cousin Torrie. A doctor/medical examiner for the paranormal. I have my writing buddies and sprint partners lined up.

This is the perfect time to start over. Today is my absolute favorite holiday. No pressures like at Christmas and other religious celebrations. Just fun.

Since this is my favorite time of the year, I intend to take advantage of it and allow the season to wrap around me and hopefully keep me inspired.

Things that I have to keep in mind-

  1. I have to write every single day. The goal of 1670k is entirely doable.
  2. I can’t go back and start editing the next day. A really bad habit I have that can be death to a story. If I think of something I want to add, I’ll make a note and go back in December when I start my edits.
  3. I’m not going to evaluate what I’m writing as I write. Another big problem., I tend to ask questions like “Is this realistic or even possible? What would someone in real life think about this?” These things don’t matter when you are creating a work of fiction.
  4. I’m moving away from the erotic aspect. Not that there won’t be sex but it won’t be the central theme that the story surrounds. I’ve moved further away from that the longer I write. When I was at my best as an Erotic Writer, I was at my worst, most self-destructive in my personal life.

This will be a perfect way to end my year- the first really happy year I’ve had in my life. A year where I no longer hate anyone, am angry everyday, jealous, hateful, negative in every way possible. I’m halfway through my life and I intend for the second half of it to be who I want, to do what I want and to keep being happy. People , places and money don’t make you happy and don’t give you purpose.

I believe in Karma and that what you put in the world is exactly what the world will give back to you and it’s always when you least expect it. You either do better or you’ll be miserable. It’s hard to look at yourself and remember all the shitty things you’ve done. I’ve tried very hard to apologize and make sure I never do to others whats been done to me.

Complementing NaNo will be the last link in the chain I’ve been forging this year and will act as physical proof that I’m not bound by what others think of me, by my past issues and by some of the things I still have to work out.

This is the start of my New Year, yeah it’s a little early but I’m happy to be here and give it a go.

I hope my fellow authors who are participating in NaNo all have success with it in November and can reach the 50,000 word count.

Lots of luck and good Karma to all who go forward in November and hopefully by January there will be a slew of new books for readers to enjoy.

Happy All Hallows Eve!




There’s been too much drama the past few weeks. Sometimes the further you try to run the more you run into the same wall.  It’s rainy and dreary. I’m trying to deal with the idea that my oldest is moving to Florida in the spring. I can’t say no but I don’t have to like it. Hell I had the opportunity to move out west when I was 20 and I wish like hell I’d had the guts to get the hell out of here when I had the chance. Could have saved myself a whole load of shit.

With the rain the store is dead today and that only makes the day drag by. It doesn’t happen often but it sucks when it does. So instead of being pissy when I blog, I just haven’t written anything. It’s one of those days where your past catches up with you in the worst kind of way.

I’m leaving this one to Cypress Hill…


Okay things aren’t quite as major as my all caps title but what we’ve done here at home has given us a bit of financial freedom in a small way.

Cable – The evil conglomerates that hold you hostage with their ridiculous rates. We were paying almost $300 for cable, phone & internet. We might as well have had the word “Sucker” tattooed on our foreheads.

I’m lucky in the sense that television isn’t really that important for our family.The kids usually have it on for nothing more than background noise.

All of the stupid ass reality shows and their shallow and self-promoting situations suck. With the exception of Empire, the Big Bang Therory, sports and the FX network shows, there is nothing I watch.

We came to the decision as a family that we were giving the middle finger to the price gouging cable companies and we got rid of our home phone and cable. We kept the internet but everything else is gone.

A smart T.V, Amazon t.v. Fire sticks, Netflix (7.99) and Hulu (7.99) and a really nice looking antennae for the local channels and we have all the telly we need.

By doing this we will be saving close to $3000.00 dollars a year. Between Hulu and Amazon Prime T.V, we can watch our favorite shows the day after they air on regular T.V. or we can binge watch (which is something I like to do. I’m watching The Americans – which is a great show about Russian Spies in the early 80’s who were planted in the U.S and live as Americans.

What else is nice is that when the new Game of Thrones starts I can get HBO go for a few months and then drop it.
Television, like cell phones are an obsession here in the states. It provides the perfect partner when you’re unhappy. You can lose yourself for hours watching mindless things and not have to deal with life.
I encourage my kids to put down the phones and get out with friends. Videos games were never an issue for us. My kids have way too many other things to keep them busy. I’ve never liked the idea of parents putting their kids in front of a t.v. in order to distract them instead of getting out art supplies and letting them make a mess on the kitchen table.
It makes me sad when I see little ones, toddlers and pre-schoolers paying more attention to an iPad than pretending to be a super hero or any of the millions of other things they could do without any electronics being involved.

While technology is important in the broad sense, it has made us fat, lazy and makes us have the attention span of a gnat.
Some compare their life to what they see on t.v, some are envious of the absolute greed and lavish lifestyles shown on some of these shows.

No thanks, we’ve had enough. I don’t have the money to throw away and definitely am not interested in lining the pockets of the elitist’s that run this country.
I don’t think they believe how much the bottom 90% of people despise them. I mean 90% of us make less than 150,000 a year and we certainly can’t afford the rising costs to watch a box.
I encourage anyone whose life doesn’t revolve around T.V. to cut the cord themselves and take that money to do something fun.



Along with the mess with my mom. My father told me today that my Aunt has breast Cancer, It totally sucks and I feel so bad not only for her but my Dad.He’s very close to his siblings and this is another blow he certainly doesn’t need.

Maya Angelou has always been an inspiration for me and for the past year I do read her quotes. They always are thought-provoking and can usually help pull me out of a funk.


Thoughtful Thursday~May 29~<b>Maya Angelou quotes</b>

20 Beautiful <b>Maya</b> <b>Angelou</b> Picture <b>Quotes</b> | Famous <b>Quotes</b> | Love <b>Quotes</b> ...

Pin by atashi dewanjee on <b>Quotes</b> that I love | Pinterest

20 Most Inspirational <b>Maya Angelou Quotes</b> | WeKnowMemes

25 Deep <b>Maya Angelou Quotes</b> | A House of Fun

<b>Maya</b> <b>Angelou</b> <b>Quote</b> about writing | Tyto Books

<b>maya angelou quotes</b> life image search results



Knowing Better and Doing Better | Nicole Beurkens

<b>Maya</b> <b>Angelou</b> on Pinterest | Super Soul Sunday, Famous People <b>Quotes</b> ...

<b>Maya</b> <b>Angelou</b>, Inspirational <b>Quotes</b>

Of course there are many more but I thought I’d better stop here.

Heaven and Hell

Yesterday started out so fucking wonderful. My friend John who I met in the lunch line when I was in tenth grade. went to Prom with and spent many years hanging with him and our close-knit group of friends. He took me to my first club in Detroit when I was 18. We lived at each others homes and his mom treated me like one of her own. When he moved to Vegas, I stayed with him par of the time and then went to his moms when he went to work. He soon moved to San Diego and I was never able to see him. He’s back in town for 2 weeks and yesterday he came to the store and spent most of the day with me. Like with anyone you love and spent so many good years with, it was like we’d been talking to each other for all those years. We picked up where we left off and the years melted away.

He’s been through a lot with his health but as managed to come back from each test he’d been given. He is the embodiment of joy, happiness and laughter and I didn’t realize how much I;d missed that about him. He is Peter Pan and Puck in every way that is good. And just like when my other friend from San Diego visited last month, he and I will never lose contact again. The circle is never broken.

I have family in San Diego as well and I’m really considering that San Diego will be a great place to go when I retire or if I win the lottery…lol..I’m outta here!

Snapshot_20151008On the HELL front. When I came home from work at six, I get a phone call from my Daddy, telling me that my mom had fallen down the basement steps (our biggest nightmare after her 3 knee replacement surgery’s) She’d been on the cold, tile floor for more than 9 hours. I got there as the rescue pulled up. She is so messed up and in so much pain. Morphine and dilated didn’t touch her pain. She dislocated her shoulder. They sedated her and tried to put it back into place but couldn’t get it to stay. She’s been transferred to another hospital where they may have to surgically put her shoulder back. She is bruised from head to toe, badly and at this point I’m not sure she will ever come back from this.

Experiencing the highest high and the lowest low is something that I’m getting really fucking tired with. At this point all I can do is get through work, keep in touch with my dad and the hospital and try to stay awake. I haven’t had more than a couple of hours of sleep.

Sometimes the yin/yang of life really blows.

Beautiful Inspiration!

Paranormal Romance is my favorite thing to not only read but write as well. It’s easy to find inspiration for vampires, werewolves and pretty much any kind of creature that goes bump in the night. Magnus Crowe from my story Longfellow Seduced was based on the beautiful Brent Smith from Shinedown. Rock music lends itself to writing these dark romances, so it only makes sense that the men who play this music serve as an inspiration for my characters. I’m sharing some of my favorites who will make appearances in future stories.

<b>Dave</b> <b>Navarro</b> – DoucheDave Navarro…All I can do is shiver when I see this bad boy. I especially like the nipple rings and tatts……it’s enough to make your mouth water.

Myles Kennedy

  Scott W. From Stone Temple Pilots.

Chris Martin – He’s blonde, blue-eyed and English….What more could a woman want- Gwenyth was a dumb ass for ending this.



No More Roar

   I can’t do it anymore. Watching the Lions play last night left me with a stomach ache. There is so much fucking dysfunction within this team from the owners down.

Why the offensive coordinator hasn’t been shown the door is beyond me. Why they try to force a run game that isn’t there seems to be such a waste of time and talent. The offensive line SUCKS. There is no pass protection what so ever.

My man Calvin and Golden Tate are not being engaged. Matty is a gunslinger they keep trying to control. Something he clearly isn’t able to do, so stop trying to make him into a QB that is. He performs better with a hurry up offense so why not use that advantage. He’ll never be Manning or Brady and it’s time to stop this insane course of action.

For all intensive purposes their season is over. The silver lining might be a high first round pick in the draft.

I’ve learned over the last few years that blind loyalty will bite you in the ass. That hoping and believing things will change in the face of reality that things definitely won’t change has been a hard lesson but one I’ve completely embraced. When someone shows you who they really are ...Believe them… don’t make excuses for why they are the way they are because the truth is, they are never who you thought they were in the first place.

The Lions have proved they indeed suck. But until they have a major shake up from the top down, starting with Martin Mayhew and on down from there, nothing will ever change.

So here we are 4 games in and we’re the only team who hasn’t won a game. The enjoyment of watching them has turned into a waking fucking nightmare. I’m one of those sports fans who yell at the t.v. I don’t’ want to be angry with the Lions anymore so the only way I can achieve this is by not tuning into their games anymore and choosing another team to root for.

For me that team will be the Packers. Yes, our rivals but you can’t argue with success. Farewell my Lions until they shake up the organization from top to bottom and get back to real football, I’m no  longer going to waste my Sundays watching you get pummeled week after week. I don’t blame the players but those in charge for fucking up the careers of some potentially great players.

I’ve learned that walking away is better than hope when it comes to this team. My loyalty will only go so far before I withdraw it. It’s a bummer but necessary for me to continue to enjoy the sport.

Go Wings!!!!!!!!!!!!