A Knight in Tarnished Armor

I never wanted the Knight in Shining Armor riding on a white horse to swoop into my life. They’re too confident of their ability to make everything okay. They pride themselves on how things appear and how a woman should behave. Shining Armor is an empty place full of pleasantries, politeness, routine and a code of conduct. There isn’t much that is genuine about that Shining Armor, where kisses and sex are mundane. Where laughter and smiles are forced. Where resentments eat away at you until you’re nothing more then a shell going through the motions.

Nope give me the man in the Tarnished Armor with all the dings and dents gained through life. He lives his passions, in and out of the bedroom. His kiss will curl your toes. He can take all you have to give and give it back. He can laugh when your P.M.S. ing. He doesn’t cry at the drop of a hat. He might not be the most handsome man in the world but you love him even more for it. The lines on his face and the gray in his hair are just reminders of the battles he fought in life and that is beautiful. His actions speak louder than his words. His eyes hide nothing even if his face does. He works hard no matter what his vocation and takes pride in it.

It doesn’t matter to him if he’s wealthy or not as long as your happy. He tells you when he’s upset by something you’ve said and done. He’s flawed, has made plenty of mistakes and come out on the better side for it. He is forgiving and kind.

He doesn’t forgo his dreams for yours but finds a way you both can live with.

He cooks because you hate it. He smiles and laughs at your stupid stories and he wraps you up when you need it the most and are afraid to ask for it. He respects your mind, your soul over your body and what you have. He doesn’t take your shit and gives as good as he gets. He loves the challenge even if it drives him crazy.

He indulges you when you find something fascinating and he doesn’t. He doesn’t cared if your tattooed, pierced or dress in endless T-Shirts and jeans. He lets you wear his shirts to bed with a smile even if he doesn’t understand that it makes you feel safe and warm.

He makes you feel secure, sexy and loved. He knows that you’ll do anything and everything to make him as happy as he’s made you.

He makes you a better woman.

Yes ladies, don’t pass up a Knight because you see the flaws on the outside. He is perfectly imperfect and you love him because of it.

Thankful

I know it’s a few days late but lucky for me I’ve been busy at the store the last 3 days so I put off this post until today.

These are the things I’m thankful for.

The love I feel. Family, friends, places and times. Accepting it for what it is with no” if only”… attached to it. No one is perfect and real love doesn’t change because of peoples flaws.

Accepting myself and others for who they really are without expectations. It’s not fair to place those kinds of burdens on anyone, especially yourself.

My friends who encourage me where my writing is concerned. I’ve been insulted where my writing was concerned and it hurt- a lot. In fact I haven’t finished a story since November of last year. The single sentence still sticks with me whenever I open a file and try to write. It would have been easy to take from a stranger but not from someone you know. In the end it is what it is and I either move on from it or let it continue to bother me.

My store- There is a list of reasons why I’m so freaking happy with the store. I guess the biggest is that I love books and I’m good at my job.

My family, for obvious reasons.

It’s a pretty simple list but I’ve done my best to make things that way.

I hope you had an awesome Thanksgiving with NO drama or fighting and were given nothing but love.

Sierra

 

The Sale continues

I’ve extended the sale at the store through next week as a Thank You to my customers. Friday and Saturday were great days. Many friends, old and new came to see us.

I wake up everyday and can’t believe just how lucky I am to be doing what I love. My friends were on me yesterday to get to the writing. One of them told me I needed a muse. I thought that was funny for reasons I no longer go into. But I really appreciate their support. I also am thankful that they tell me I don’t suck as an author which is something I’ve struggled with. Because they know my writing process so well, they gave me some pretty cool ideas. The first is to carry my legal pad with me everywhere. That way if a idea or scene take form I can write it down immediately, file it and save for later. It’s so simple yet so fucking helpful.

The weather here has been almost too good to be true this year. I looked at the next 10 days on The Weather Channel and I’m loving it. Mostly in the 50’s with a couple of days of rain in the morning or at night and sunny. Yes, it’s sunny in Michigan going into December. If it could stay this way all winter I would be thrilled.

I hope you all have had a wonderful holiday and are getting ready for the Christmas season. This year I’m especially happy the kids are so easy to buy for. In theory we don’t have to step in a store. Well at least I don’t, the DH does all the shopping. He has the money (yeah I had a big time spending problem a few years ago so he does the bills and shopping) It used to bother me but he isn’t involved with my writing or my store business so I have no issues with it. I know not very feminist of me and I know it’s not ideal for most people but for me it seems to work.

I have what I need (okay not everything I want) but what I need and I’m good with it. More money just leads to mo’ problems and I like not having to live paycheck to paycheck.

With the exception of the store, I’m working on being completely out of debt in 2 yrs…..Goals are set and I’m working on the budget. I don’t mind living with one when it’s going to leave me in a really good position as the twins go off to college.  DO without the extras now and get what I want in a few years—seems like a no-brainer to me..lol. Let’s hope I can stick it out.

It’s a great weekend and I hope you were able to enjoy a stress free, feel good weekend like I was. I’m grateful everyday that I’ve been able to change my outlook on the world. Yeah I still falter but I’m able to get it together much faster then I used to.

It’s made me a much happier, fun, passionate and satisfied with my life because of it.

In 2 yrs I hit the big 50. The kids will be in college and I will have the kind of freedom I haven’t had since I was 29. I love my kids but I’m ready to let them go and live their own life. I used to worry about getting older but now I’m looking forward to all the things I’ll be able to do again that I haven’t in sooo long.

I wish you all warm wishes and hope you get plenty of passionate kisses,

Sierra

 

Small Business Saturday!!!!

Please Remember to Shop Small Business Saturday. As a small business owner I know how important day like today can really make a difference.

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Gobble…Gobble…Gobble

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This is not part of my Turkey Day. Why? Because I took the holiday off. I grabbed something to eat and can now look forward to about 4 or 5 hours of blissful quiet.

My Lions rolled over Philly today and all I can say is I understand how those fans there feel. We’ve spent over fifty years in utter disappointment by this team. At this point I’ve learned to just go with it. Every time I try to walk away from them , I turn around and go running back. I figure if they actually ever make it to a Superbowl in my lifetime I will have the pay-off, we as fans need. If not then I can proudly say that I’ve remained loyal to them. Sometimes we have to go through a lot of bad to get to the truly good.

I’m hoping to continue to experience the good and keep the bad at bay.

This year I’m truly thankful for the things you don’t always see. For the love of family and friends. I’m thankful the good days outweigh the bad. I’m thankful I am now sleeping through the night again. I’m thankful for a hot shower and learning to do Yoga.

I’m thankful that my passion for life and creativity has returned to me after a few years. I’m thankful I can be happy, healthy and looking forward to each day with a smile.

Now, I’m going to spend the rest of the night between football & pick a show to binge on and the big bang Theory.

Have a Wonderful Thanksgiving!

Hiccups and other stuff

Snapshot_20151125 I admit it, writing upon waking at 5:30 a.m. is about the dumbest thing I can do. Every time I promise myself that I won’t do it again, I find myself cringing right after I write something really negative.

Did I learn anything from the dream? I think so. I think it meant that I need to lighten up and have fun. Not to take things so damn serious and enjoy the moment.

Having fun makes you feel good from the inside out. It warms your belly and you can’t help but smile. Some of the best fun can be had by simply giving into it.

It’s simple as that…

Wishing my family & friends (near and far) a very Happy Thanksgiving. I love ya’ll.

I wish ya’ll out there a Happy Thanksgiving as well and remember to just go with it and have fun!

Sierra

Nightmares

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Nightmares SUCK! I’m talking about the kind that wake you up clutching your chest, the ones that have your guts twisted and squeezing your insides until you want to crawl into a ball and never dream again.

Full moon, P.M.S and a thousand other things that come together at the right moment to give you a dream that makes you both unbelievably sad, angry and scared.

The ones that ruin your day and you can’t forget. I don’t have them often but when I do it sticks with me. Not as long as they used to but enough to ruin my entire day before it’s even started.

It happens when you want something more then anything and you can’t have it ever again. When your imagination takes you into uncharted territory and it scares the hell out of you.

I HATE IT…HATE IT…HATE IT…

I’m left with the choice to either let it eat at me or to do whatever I need to in order to forget it.

Sometimes it only takes a few kind words to erase the nightmare and I hope like hell I hear them soon.

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