I need a Hero

It’s a Batman kind of Day!

Snapshot_20160130batman 6The newest incarnation of the Dark Knight – Ben Affleck and can I just say, Holy hell dude. Can you imagine all the fun you could have with that body!!!!


Enjoy the Day……


80’s Throwback

Going with the 80’s music today. I was a teenager, in high school and loving life.


Music and Eye Candy


I’m so ready for spring! I hate being cooped up in the house. There’s nothing better when you’re feeling blah then a hot man and good music. Enjoy!


Thankful in the Mitten

Let me say that my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone that has been affected by the big snowstorm. When you aren’t used to such weather, it can be really tough to navigate while not panicking. I have family in W.Va and Va and snow isn’t something they really have to deal with a lot – at least not in these amounts. Stay safe!

It goes a little beyond just this particular storm. Over the past year, the weather outside of Michigan has been pretty messed up. From West coast to East coast, killer flooding, tornadoes, 1000 yr storms (which I still find amusing- considering weather hasn’t been tracked that long) So while Michigan has had some harsh winters and some blistering summers, in light of what the rest of the country has been dealing with, we’ve had awesome weather.

Today it’s cold, but not sub-zero and the Sun is out against a beautiful, blue sky. Now the idea of climate deniers that have witnessed the weather over the past year and still insist that nothing is happening in the world are freakin’ delusional.

It’s not all about air pollution though. People have built homes where none should have ever been built. An example is wet lands. Trying to get rid of wetlands is insane. They are not only home to many species of animals but they act as a filter for the water that eventually settles into ground water.

I’ve seen houses built into the mountains in W.VA, Houses built on stilts, undercarriages etc…because the ground isn’t that stable. Really???? You still want to dig into the ground for a pretty view.

The beach erosion in Jersey and along both coasts is insane. We wonder why there are more sharks visible. Earths natural barriers are being stripped away by bigger and bigger construction projects.

The infrastructure in this country is falling apart. Everyone knows about the lead filled water in the city of Flint. Not only are the waterway pipes corroded but some of them are still made of wood- in the year 2016- wood! The people of my state have risen to the occasion and getting tons and tons of water sent to Flint. The DH’s job sent up a U-haul filled and that is happening everywhere.

I used to bitch about the cold winters and the  hot summers, not anymore. I’ll take being surrounded by the Great Lakes and be happy that we are luckier then most. We never run out of green. We go up north when we want to play in a ton of snow. We go to the Great Lakes for the beaches and a ton of smaller lakes dot most every if not all counties in the state.

There’s still a good 8 weeks left to the season and I’m hoping those months will be as kind as the previous ones.


On a lighter note , I will be at H.A.Fortman’s cyber book release party for Guarding Gemini tonight at 11:00 p.m. ET. I’ll be giving away some print books as well as some e-books. I’m going to have a few fun contests to enter and all the giveaways on the page will be open until Midnight on Sunday.

Here the link and come join me tonight-


Take care,


I don’t want to grow up!

What happens when you are PMSing, get a steroid shot in you hip joint, have a 4 day migraine and work open to close everyday?

It isn’t pretty…..



That about sums it up!


Sometimes when you have to take medicine for long periods of time, really for the rest of my life- it comes with side effects. But they aren’t always physical. I’ve reached the point (now that I have my shit together) that while I’m on the right path, I’m not feeling it- not really. Oh there are flashes, glimpses of emotion. It happens less and less as time goes on.

And it SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone has wished at one time or another that they were numb when it comes to feelings, if only to get over things, and to not feel pain. So while I’m in a really good head space, my emotional space is pretty fucking empty. Oh I want to feel- something-anything. A spark, something to let me know that the flame is still in me, hiding and small but still there just waiting for the right time to re-ignite.

With all the celebrity deaths, it only reminds me how fleeting life is. How important it is to experience life, enjoy every single second of everyday. The trouble is when you feel nothing but apathy, you’re still missing out.

It’s been miserably slow at the store this week. It leaves me with way too much time on my hands to think. I”ve tried to force myself to feel something-anything. Anger, hate, love, passion, or envy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not walking around in a haze or not enjoying my family and friends but it feels very superficial. The connection isn’t quite there.

The worst part is that I know if I stop taking certain things to keep me healthy, I will start to feel things on a much more deeper level. There is a giant downside to that. Because the emotions that are locked away, unable to escape could overwhelm me at anytime if I cut back.

I know what I have to do. Stopping my meds is out of the question. Learning to dig deep and tap into what’s inside is the only option left to me.

Hopefully writing this post will help propel me forward in a positive way.




Watching their Pain

3 years ago my mom had a knee replacement and she’s never fully recovered. Two additional surgeries later and she is worse then she was prior to getting it done. A few months ago she fell down the basement steps and damaged her rotator cuff when she dislocated her shoulder.

Yesterday she fell again. Last night in the E.R, the Doc told us that he thinks she may have fractured her hip. My heart is breaking. Because of her weight, we can’t physically take care of her. She has been in constant pain for soo long now and it sucks beyond words, watching her health decline with every passing day.

My mother is a good woman and doesn’t deserve this. She sacrificed everything for my brother and I. She put her own wants and dreams on hold for everyone else around her.

I’m pissed, I’m sad that there is nothing I can do to make her better. There are plenty of assholes in this world who will never have to deal with what she has. When people reach the age of my parents ( early 70’s) they should be enjoying their golden years, not suffering through needless bouts of trauma and pain.

Watching what she’s gone through has in part helped me to get some of my shit together. The first being my health. Taking care of me is NOT selfish. If I’m not healthy it’s not good for anyone. I don’t want to watch life pass by, I want to enjoy every single second I have on this earth. I never ever want to regret how my life ends up. I don’t want to look back and realize that the decisions I made were for nothing. That I’m not happy, healthy and whole.

To that end I know a few things I will be especially vigilant with. The first is the only way I will ever get a joint replacement is if I can’t walk. I’ve known too many people who’ve had negative results and live in pain for the rest of their life and that fundamentally changes who they are forever.

The second is to always make sure that I’m able to handle my stress levels. I’ve talked about doing what makes me happy, and doing the things that relieve my stress.

A lot of the time we are so focused on making sure that everyone around us is good, we neglect ourselves.

Like is fleeting, I feel it more and more every single day. For these reasons I say make sure you love what you do. Experience your favorite things, live out your dreams, indulge your kinks, take care of your body, mind and soul. Love Long, Love Hard and Love Deep. Don’t worry about getting as much as you give because it does come back to you at some point.

I’m hoping that my mom will get better and have some kind of quality of life. She deserves to live out the rest of her life happy. For now all I can do is show her how much I love her, how grateful I am to have her and too love her unconditionally. You can’t ever get time not spent with your parents back – ever….

Give your mom a big hug and kiss today. Tell her thank you and that you love her. Spend time with her and remember all the good things she’s done for you.







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