Stepping Back

We’ve all been there. Watching someone we love heading for disaster, a big mistake or making the wrong choices.

We may see what’s coming but they don’t. Even when we voice our opinions they usually continue on the path they’re taking.

This is especially true when it comes to relationships of the heart. You can see how bad it is but the ones you’re concerned about, don’t.

Such is the case with my oldest son. He’s been back and forth with one particular girl for a few years now.

I haven’t gotten to know her, when she comes over it’s straight to my sons room.

This is a problem for me. I don’t think it’s out of bounds to expect when you come to my home to say hello. When my “adopted” sons come over, they always find me and say “Hi mom.” When his females friends come over they do the same.

I once mentioned it to my kid and he told me she’s just shy. Yeah Right!!! In my gut, I’m not thrilled with them being together. But, I know that if I express those feelings, my son will feel as though he has to defend her.

We’ve all done it at one time or another. Someone tells us something negative about someone we love and our first instinct is to find excuses for their behavior.

I don’t say anything to anyone about who they choose to be with. Eventually they will learn – the hard way. It may take months or years  but there always comes a time when they realize they’ve wasted a lot of time on relationships that are just bad.

This last time after a few months apart, when she came to the house, I just sighed to myself.

My son is very private and I respect that and wait for him to come to me.  I learned that nothing good comes from trying to micro manage your kids and often backfires.

The kid takes after me. It takes us a long time to trust anyone and when those walls are broken down, it’s really, really, really hard to make us let go. Even when everyone around you tells you it’s going to end badly.

I keep my mouth shut. Even though every fiber of my being wants to tell him to end it, that it will only continue to hurt him, I can’t do it. Why? Because I completely understand how he’s feeling.

All I can do is trust him and be here to catch him if he falls. You never, ever want your child to go through heartbreak but in the end you can’t really do anything about it.

I’d rather keep my mouth shut and keep him honest than to hide the fact that he’s seeing her again. Where ever their relationship takes them, I’ll be there to support him because real love never has conditions attached to it., no matter what may happen.

I love my son and am proud of the young man he’s become. While I’ll always be his mama, there are many things he has to experience on his own.






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