Watching their Pain

3 years ago my mom had a knee replacement and she’s never fully recovered. Two additional surgeries later and she is worse then she was prior to getting it done. A few months ago she fell down the basement steps and damaged her rotator cuff when she dislocated her shoulder.

Yesterday she fell again. Last night in the E.R, the Doc told us that he thinks she may have fractured her hip. My heart is breaking. Because of her weight, we can’t physically take care of her. She has been in constant pain for soo long now and it sucks beyond words, watching her health decline with every passing day.

My mother is a good woman and doesn’t deserve this. She sacrificed everything for my brother and I. She put her own wants and dreams on hold for everyone else around her.

I’m pissed, I’m sad that there is nothing I can do to make her better. There are plenty of assholes in this world who will never have to deal with what she has. When people reach the age of my parents ( early 70’s) they should be enjoying their golden years, not suffering through needless bouts of trauma and pain.

Watching what she’s gone through has in part helped me to get some of my shit together. The first being my health. Taking care of me is NOT selfish. If I’m not healthy it’s not good for anyone. I don’t want to watch life pass by, I want to enjoy every single second I have on this earth. I never ever want to regret how my life ends up. I don’t want to look back and realize that the decisions I made were for nothing. That I’m not happy, healthy and whole.

To that end I know a few things I will be especially vigilant with. The first is the only way I will ever get a joint replacement is if I can’t walk. I’ve known too many people who’ve had negative results and live in pain for the rest of their life and that fundamentally changes who they are forever.

The second is to always make sure that I’m able to handle my stress levels. I’ve talked about doing what makes me happy, and doing the things that relieve my stress.

A lot of the time we are so focused on making sure that everyone around us is good, we neglect ourselves.

Like is fleeting, I feel it more and more every single day. For these reasons I say make sure you love what you do. Experience your favorite things, live out your dreams, indulge your kinks, take care of your body, mind and soul. Love Long, Love Hard and Love Deep. Don’t worry about getting as much as you give because it does come back to you at some point.

I’m hoping that my mom will get better and have some kind of quality of life. She deserves to live out the rest of her life happy. For now all I can do is show her how much I love her, how grateful I am to have her and too love her unconditionally. You can’t ever get time not spent with your parents back – ever….

Give your mom a big hug and kiss today. Tell her thank you and that you love her. Spend time with her and remember all the good things she’s done for you.

Sierra

 

MYS

 

 

 

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