Another Genius Gone Too Soon.

Goddamn, that was the first thing that came out of my mouth upon hearing Prince has Died.

My generation has been losing some our the most talented Icons in music. This year Bowie and now Prince. Both way too young and it’s a bummer.

He was eccentric & unique and didn’t give a damn what anyone thought. He played an insane amount of instruments. He was simply a genius.

I remembering going to see Purple Rain when I was 14. The crowd was electric and it was such a buzz. I used to watch American Band Stand and remember his very first performance on that show. He wore a gold outfit and sang Controversy.

57 freaking years old. Not too much older than myself and my friends. It is sad, sad, sad and should be a big reminder of how short life can really be. You never know when you’ll take your last breath.

If you spend your time chasing after material things and less time on doing things that bring you happiness , you’ll miss out on so much.

I’ll say it again Dammit, dammit, dammit. Losing these pillars of music is hard to hear, only because we assume that with all of their wealth, and fame they are somehow more protected from the Grim Reaper.

No one is. When something like this happens, especially over the last few years, it serves as a reminder to enjoy as many moments as I can. To continue to follow my heart. To do my best not to hurt others. To be grateful for every breath I draw. I know that love is worth more than diamonds, more than an address or bank account. Loving yourself enough, not to allow others tell you who you are, or let them control you.

I wake up everyday determined to be happy, to not judge others and to be kind.

Loving and being loved without any conditions. These are the things that are important to my happiness. I think everyone should find theirs. Be passionate, don’t apologize for who you are, embrace your weirdness, try to look for the good in people even when it’s the hardest thing you may  do.

R.I.P Prince – You lived life to the fullest to the very end.


Thank You!

I’ve been a bad blogger. There has been a several stressers lately. Without going into detail, I’ll say family, friends, sickness and owning your own business has finally exploded.

It’s been going on for while and without thinking, I find that I’ve fallen into some bad habits. I thought I was feeling pretty damn good. I’d lost 30 pounds. I hadn’t cried in a long time. I was feeling a little too happy.

I want to say a sincere Thank-you for pointing it out to me.

I came home and took an inventory of my medication and realized that I haven’t taken it like I should. While not a conscious decision, it’s not a good thing if I miss them.

Shit builds up. The more you push it down the worse it ends up being. Because you find that you could explode and take your stress out on someone else.

I was proven right that  “time (doesn’t) makes you forget the bad and only remember the good.” No matter when you’re told that. Because when people aren’t happy in their life, they will remind you that the past, as they  remember it is your fault. Even if they were snowed by someone else’s LIES. And even if they themselves weren’t honest to anyone.

I’m grateful I was reminded of the things that don’t rule my life.  But, I’ve also come to realize that I’m not going to tell someone what they want isn’t important.

I also realize that I’ve been angry over the past few weeks. Yeah I know part is hormonal, but it’s mostly about stress.

The last thing I want is to be an angry person again nor do I want to cause anyone any pain. While their was some petty juvenile mud slung my way, I feel more compassion then anything else. I’d rather love then hate. I’d rather feel bad for what they may be going through.

Through all the B.S I still have been given a lot over the years. When your happy that your doing what you want, aren’t blaming the world ( and yes I’ve done this very thing and won’t go back again.) for the difficulties you put yourself in, and  take care of yourself, the past doesn’t have power over you anymore.

Sometimes there actually isn’t an ulterior motive. Sometimes it’s only a hello.




Exotic Eye Candy

Black hair, bronze bodies, strong jaws and perfect lips. These are a few of my favorite things. Enjoy these beautiful, perfect men.

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1 Year of Gratitude

1 year ago today, I made one of the scariest decisions of my life. I bought a book store. I had retail experience in my 20’s but didn’t really have a clue how to run a small business.

It’s been a year of learning and growing. One I wouldn’t have had without the support of my family and friends. It came at the perfect time. I had a big emotional hole in myself and never thought I’d be able to fill it again.

Being here everyday, working to make it look the way I wanted, kept me so busy that thoughts that used to haunt me started taking a back seat. Old negative feelings that I had blamed on circumstances were slowly fading.

The actual physical work in the store was only the beginning. Customers old and new came in. Day after day. New faces , who’ve become not only regulars but good friends.

Thank you hardly seems adequate when it comes to how grateful for every person who walks through the door. We have fantastic people who come in, have a seat and talk. I’ve been really surprised by the love and even gifts from some of them.

Whether someone spends a $1.50 or $120.00, we treat everyone the same. Hopefully they know they are appreciated and it’s because of them that I’m in business.

The positive impact on my life has been pretty dramatic as well. We all have those really bad days but mine are few and far between. Being helpful and kind. Saying Hello and Thank-you or even something as simple as smiling has help to lift that dark cloud that used to hover above me.

I may never be a millionaire, but finding peace is priceless. I’m pretty happy. I know I’m a much better person than I’ve been in years. I prefer to see the good in people versus the rotten parts. I’ve found something to put my heart and energy into.

The only downside, the one thing I haven’t been able to recover is writing. A few years ago, I couldn’t stop the ideas, the hours of tapping away on the keyboard. This isn’t the case anymore. I try not to think about it too often because it only drudges up stuff I don’t want to get into. At this point I’m not sure if I’ll ever write again. It’s the one thing that I’m missing in my life but with all the good that has come my way, I refuse to focus on this one thing. It’s sad for sure, and I’m a little bitter that my love for writing romances has pretty much disappeared. I wish I could explain why it hasn’t come back but the reasons aren’t important.

I’m grateful. To my friends, my family and too all the wonderful people who come to the store. Karma has been kind to me this past year and gives me hope for an even better 2nd year.



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