Over the past few days, I’ve had a few conversation with women who are single by choice. I’ve often wondered if I could ever remarry if something ever happened to the DH. I’ve thought about this for a very long time. I’ve watched people jump from the frying pan into the fire. I’ve wiped tears of friends who continue date the same kind of man over and over again with the same tragic results.
Okay tragic may be a slight over statement but you get the picture.
My point is that frankly I don’t want to go through the whole getting to know you process. The inevitable disappointment when you realize they aren’t perfect. Waking up one day and realizing the HONEYMOON is over. Having a part of yourself never fulfilled. At this time in my life all I want to say to that is “FUCK THAT.”
I wouldn’t want to waste the energy of trying to figure out if someone is compatible with me or not. I’ve lost my desire to act like an adoring sot who hangs on a fella’s every word. Nope, nope ,nope. I’m not afraid to be alone. I used to be but not any more.
Now don’t get me wrong. I love men and would have no issue dating, hanging out or whatever but getting into the whole emotional storm of I love you’s , I don’t love you. We should move in together etc…Not gonna do it.
I think the type of man who could grab that kind of attention from me doesn’t exist anywhere. I’m not high maintenance, well except for attention. I do love attention…lol.
He’d have to be many things. Hard working, kind, laid back, could calm me down, great sense of humor, prefers laughing over most things. Doesn’t try to keep up with the Jones or worry about how his life looks to others. He’d have to be able to get along with my friends, not be uptight, not lie, hide secrets, someone who’d rather sit around the fire and listen to some music then go out. Some one who could act goofy, really enjoyed discovering new things, not a complainer, bitcher or moaner about what they don’t have. Isn’t chasing the Benjamins and can put up with a monthly mood swings.
See what I mean? I know I would ask for a lot to take the step of ever-living with someone / married again. I hope I’ll never have to worry about all this. DH and I have managed to stick it out for 21 years and I don’t see that ever-changing….
But a girl does think about what if.
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