An author to look out for!

First I want to say Happy New Year!

In my hot little hands is the Book Chasing Constellations by HA Fortman. This is the first in the UGS Constellation Series. Last weekend the 3rd in the series was released – Guarding Gemini.

HA is an amazing person as well as writers and loves to hear from readers.

If you love a hot, sexy, thrilling ride through earth and the stars, I want to recommend HA’s books. Perfect reads if your staying in this weekend or recovering from a little too much New Year…lol…

 

I’m providing the links for all three books and hope you check them out.

 

Stay safe, stay sane, stay true to who are you this coming year!

Sierra

 

MYS

Lessons from 2015

With 2 days left until 2016, I’ve been thinking about what this year has brought me.

As with all people, I’ve had major ups and some equally major downs. The one thing I can say is that this year has been the best year that I can remember having in a long time.

I’ve been able to avoid drama for the most part and enjoying life without it.

I’ve been disappointed with my writers block and it’s something I’m still working on. It sucks that my writing was going to freaking well and then nothing-zip-zilch-nada. I haven’t given up though and next year will continue working toward getting my “mojo” back.

I’m learning to be more selfish. It’s not as bad as it sounds. I only mean that trying to make sure that other people are happy and sacrificing what I love, isn’t going to make me feel better about myself or improve my life.

Unhappiness lead to all kinds of physical and emotional issues that I no longer want to deal with. I used to be sick a lot, especially after my surgery. We all know what stress and unhappiness can do to us.

Physically, we begin to fall apart. We get sick, injured because our immune system is suppressed. Going through life pretending that everything is great when it isn’t takes a serious toll on us. I’ve seen many people (including myself) who get sick, sleep a lot, can’t sleep at all, feel lost, feel alone and for what. Because they are still searching for that perfect life.

I don’t want or need perfect. I think when we yearn for perfection, it’s because we’re empty inside. We hide who and what we are because that’s what “SOCIETY” says we have to be in order to be happy. Perfect job, perfect home, perfect kids, perfect life – yeah rarely does that happen.

When I made the choice to pursue what makes me happy (and a better person) things started to change. Instead of blaming everyone else for my woes, I’ve tried to move beyond it. There have been plenty of hiccups along the way but it gets a little easier to deal with them when they come along.

A couple of days ago, I lost my temper with the DH. The one thing I can’t stand and it usually set me off is when people bitch over little things. It drives me crazy and as I said it set me off.

Lucky for me my oldest son really knows me well. He was able to calm me down, telling me to chill that I was close to the edge and I indeed did calm down. I’ve missed that in my life. Someone who’s able to get me out of my bad head space. But it worked.

I’ve made my goals for the New Year, my big expectation is to do better than I did this year. Take care of myself both mentally and physically. Knowing I can be kind and compassionate without compromising my happiness.

I wish you all a Happy New Year,

Sierra

MYS

 

 

Squirrel 2015

If you’ve seen the movie UP , then you’re familiar with the funny as hell dog. Especially when he has the collar on that gives a voice to his thoughts and he’s easily distracted.

My friends have affectionately been calling me squirrel, making fun of my very short attention span and it’s true. Once I get into something I’m good but if I get bored, or I’m not feeling it-I get easily distracted (squirrel!!!!)

If I’m not doing something at night, I’m generally out by 9 or 9:30 and I hate that.

H.A. Fortman, a wonderful Indie writer and friend was at the store the other day and we were talking about the whole getting distracted easily. I think a lot of writers have this issue or it wouldn’t take so long to write.

Her suggestion to me – Set an alarm. Start for 15 minutes at a time. Make it a game to see how much you can get done before the alarm goes off. I used it yesterday at the store and it worked like freaking magic. I not only got a lot of stuff done but I wrote and read.

Since I am up by 5:30 every morning this will be helpful to me before I go to work as well.

15 minutes at a time. Living for 15 minutes takes the guess work out of what I’m going to do next. 15 minutes also helps to keep me from thinking about things, obsessing about stuff and wishing I had more of everything.

You’d be surprised about all the things you can accomplish in 15 minutes. When my alarm goes off, I have the choice of doing something different. I tend to do tasks I don’t really want to and am able to get them out of the way. I’m also able to take a lot more time doing things are are pleasurable.

As the fifteen minutes get shorter, I will expand the time to 20, 30 etc…

But these 15 minutes are like a pressure release valve and it feels really good.

 

A Very Merry Christmas Indeed!

This is my oldest and no I’m not short ( 5’8″ here) My son happens to be really tall. I’m so proud of this kid. He’s actually taught me how not to have drama in your life. We haven’t been able to give him as much as his friends and he’s fine with that. He is independent, hard-working and takes responsibility for his mistakes. A mom couldn’t ask for better children and I am lucky to have them.

X-Mas was wonderful. We spent the Eve with my parents. As they get older (both in their 70’s), I understand just how freaking important it is to spend time with them. I won’t have them forever and don’t want to regret not being there as much as I can.

Christmas Day- I spent blissfully chilling out at my house with the dogs. I know..some people think it’s horrible that I don’t go to my hubby’s side for the holidays but since I’ve owned the store, anytime I get off, I try to take advantage of it and frankly I like hanging out at the house when I can.

I binged watched The Tudors. I’ve seen it before but Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Henry Cavill are so freaking HOT…HOT…HOT, I loved the series and enjoy watching it now and then.

I got all the things I love for gifts. I’m so grateful that I had a really great holiday this year. The first that I can remember in many moons. There was no arguing, fighting or whining and I couldn’t be happier about it.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the gifts, and family and a whole host of other stressful situations that it sucks the fun out of the holiday. I’ve left all of that behind-as much as anyone can and I’m so much more fucking happier for it.

2015 – so far so good and I’m looking forward to what 2016 brings. Good or bad, I think I’m at the point where I don’t get so freaking overwhelmed by things out of my control.

Hoping you all had a wonderful holiday!

Sierra

MYS

I’m a Lucky Girl!

Let’s start out with the fact that it is going to be 63 degrees, in Michigan on December 23rd…Ummm…YEAH!!!!!!! There are a lot of people bummed about not having snow but since we usually have it every year there is nothing wrong with getting a break from the cold. We still have January, Feb and March still to come.

I have some of the most wonderful customers on the planet. I’ve been given cookies, gloves, socks and gift cards. Another customer made me a beautiful, thick, warm blanket and brought it to me yesterday.

I was completely floored and it was a wonderful surprise. It’s also very humbling that my customers – many who’ve become my friends- have been so kind to me.

It really does make a difference when you treat people with kindness and respect.

On Sunday, myself and my 3 oldest friends (30 yrs +) spent 10 hours baking cookies. We only had one mixer and one oven, cookies sheets on every surface of her kitchen and I loved it.

We laughed so much that my stomach was still sore the next day, I was also EXHAUSTED. But the cookies turned out awesome. We pick cookies that aren’t the usual X-mas fare.

Mint Chocolate chip cookies (Made with cake batter).

Cranberry, White Chocolate, Oatmeal cookies.

A lot of the cookies had to be rolled into balls and as you can imagine 4 , 40 something women in their sexual prime had plenty to say about that.

Cherry stuffed cookie, dipped in handmade Cherry frosting with sprinkles.

Almond ball cookies, dipped in white chocolate and fresh coconut.

Chocolate cookies stuffed with a soft peanut butter filling

Italian wedding cake cookies.

Maple, Walnut fudge and traditional chocolate fudge.

We double every recipe and I was laden with so many cookies that I was able to give them to my neighbors that share the strip mall with me.

I have to admit, I’m completely cookie’d out and have no desire to see or eat anymore of them. But I do love making them and giving them to people.

I was able to put my panic attack into perspective. It was 6;30 in the morning, I was exhausted from cookie day and hadn’t been in the area for almost 3 and half years.

In the end the sense of dread quickly faded throughout the day and by night time I was able to remember the good things. It was a major relief and I now smile at the memories. I have a bad habit of reacting to things on an emotional level versus cutting out any drama that could surround a situation and just enjoy the moment…Hey, I’m human…lol…

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas!

Sierra

MYS

Manipulation

My meltdown yesterday left me in a “mood”.  I’ve learned that when you’re trying to heal your life, trying to become something better than our baser selves, there will always be things “left over” to work out.

Instead of letting the feelings simmer until they boil over, I’ve been trying to deal with them as they come. Sort of rip the band-aid off and work it out.

My thoughts after yesterday didn’t lead to where I thought they might. Instead they made me think of people who manipulate other people. Not because they want their own way (hey we’ve all done that.) No, I’m referring to people who manipulate you for the soul purpose of screwing somebody else or you over.

It’s easy to do when the person you’re dealing with is in a vulnerable state.

I have dealt with people like this, but there was a particularly viscous pit bull of a female who tried doing this to me. A woman who has it all but in her need to control every single person in her world , managed to fuck up her own kids, who even as a young teenagers knew exactly what to say and do to get the attention she wanted. I can only imagine that it will continue in the family forever.

It’s so fucking poisonous and I played right into her hands – up to a point before I figured out just what nasty a piece of work she really was.

These people are brave over the phone, and behind a keyboard. They think they are really smarter than the average bear. They will zero in on your pain and twisted the knife they openly hold, trying to maximize your pain.

When I’m reminded of her, I’m now able to put a lot of the shit she said in my mental trash can.

I’m so much better equipped to handle manipulators than I ever could before. I know that while things may look pretty to the outside world it’s often a cover for the twisted bullshit that happens when the doors are closed.

This person could turn on the tears at the drop of a hat, which I find amazing. I hate crying but when i do it , it’s because I’m really sad/hurt not to get a reaction out of someone.

People like this will continue happily , barreling through life and trying to bully, guilt and threaten to ensure they get their way. The only thing that matters is that they stay in control. That they come out on top. They will accept nothing less then having people jump when they tell them too.

It really is a sickness that turns everyone around them either angry or broken or maybe both.

I’m able to look at that time with a much clearer head. Why? Because I realize her issues had little to do with me. Her hatred of others is what fueled her and I happened to be the pathway for her to get exactly what she wanted.

After all of that my personal mantra has become “Go for it.”

By that I mean, you can threaten, bitch, moan or say whatever you think will get me to behave the way you want, but it isn’t going to work. Not now, not ever.

If someone tries to act like some kind of bad ass, you better be prepared to deal with me live and not via phone or emails or texts.

I’ve become a little selfish in the sense that manipulation no longer works on me. Got something to tell-then tell but you damn sure better be ready to possibley hear something you don’t want to know.

I never , ever want to bring someone pain. I don’t get off on it, I don’t need to bring everyone down around me.

The shitty moments in life taught me a couple of things.

I’ve learned the type of person I DON’T want to be.

I’ve learned that life is way too short to be the kind of person who holds onto hate, jealousy and anger.

Your past is not my fault and I’m not going to pay for it nor will I allow people to sway me with a story of woe.

I’ve learned to do what makes me happy and that real love doesn’t involve manipulation. Real love isn’t complicated, full of drama and stupid expectations of how people should behave in order to perpetuate a very shallow existence.

My tolerance for users ended a long time ago. I’ve learned to either accept people for exactly who they are and cut out those I can’t accept.

I’m sure there are many more “things” I will have to learn in the journey of life and the great part about this is that I’m carving out exactly what I want without any games.

When someone tries to work you , it says all you need to know about them.

For me a couple of women who did this a few years ago and who I only spoke with a couple of times showed me that they are the soulless kind of people I now feel sorry for.

I encourage you to have pity for them. I may not win at everything nor have what I want at times but I’m okay with that.

Good things do come to you eventually, it just takes a lot of patience. It may not be what you expect but it will be what you need. If you don’t learn ,you end up having the same kind of life over and over again.

If you embrace what you love, enjoy the unexpected for what it is and don’t place insane limitations on yourself, you will be happier and more satisfied than you ever dreamed possible. If you spend your time trying to force people to bend to your will, you will never knew what it’s like to truly be fulfilled.

Wishing you a Happy Holiday!

Sierra

MYS

 

Gut Check

I was all ready to post pics of cookies and friends today. I had to take my son to his new job first. We pulled in and I looked over and BAM! a panic attack the likes of which I haven’t had in a few years threatened to spill out with my kid in the car. I managed to hold off until he left and then the tears started. The chest tightened, my breath was knocked out of me and the feeling like I was going to vomit became over whelming. I calmed myself enough that I only had to deal with tears and the sense that in that moment it reminded me that sometimes the universe likes to fuck with me for no apparent reason.

I’m better now. I rode out the wave but having the right frame of mind for writing something fun is gone for today. I’ll mope for a little bit and then suck it up and continue as I have everyday….but Frankly I can do without this shit…so I’m going to head it off by letting the Kid take my car to work and I’ll have someone drop me off at the store. That is the simplest way. He’s only training at this location for a week and then he’ll be back to our side of town.

The Merry-Go-Round begins

The holidays have officially begun for me today. We’ve been busy here and by the time I get home , I fall asleep pretty early but this week is going to be crazy.

By 8:30 this morning I had made a pot of chili, cornbread, 2 dozen salted, caramel cookies, 3 loads of laundry and the pots and pans etc…from cooking.

The food is for book club tonight and I had enough time to get ready for work and here I am.

The thing that makes this bearable is that I will have Sunday, Thursday & Friday off….Yeah!!!!!!!!

It’s worth the 12 hour day today.

Tomorrow is cookie day. My three oldest friends and I get together and bake cookies all day. It’s ridiculously fun and I’ll pics to post along with food porn…hehehe…

X-mas Eve. with my family. X-mas day the DH & the kids go to the in-laws and I have another lovely day chilling at home with Jake and Tanner – the dogs!

I’ll be well-rested for the day after Christmas here at the store.

I wanted to send a special shout out to Cheri Williams who dropped off all the diapers for First Step…love ya girl….

I’m throwing up some Kid Rock. I heard him on my way in and he always puts me in a good mood.

I have 3 categories I put songs in to, I’ve gotten into this habit with writing and what I listen to depending on who I’m with.

The Categories are Songs I can dance to, songs I can ***k to or songs that you can sing with your friends when you’re around the bonfire.

Rarely does this include slow, painful love songs….mainly because they are soooo DAMN B-O-R-I-N-G….and so is the romanticized act of sexy fun. You should never, ever be bored in the bedroom…..LOL

Cowboy- Kid Rock- A song that fits into each of the above categories.

Happy Saturday!!!

Sierra

MYS

 

Star Wars, Karma, Sheldon & Amy

Star Wars….Star Wars…need I really say more! Don’t tell me anything. I’m going with the girls from book club sometime this month. We’re picking a day on Sat during book club.

Sheldon & Amy finally got busy. I have to admit, I never saw this one coming but I totally loved it.

Karma – I have to say that when I heard that little turd who’d jacked up the price of an AIDS drug by 5000% got busted by the feds, I laughed. He is such a toad. The epitome of everything that’s wrong with money and greed, the have and have nots of this country and how far people will sink in order to be rich.

It’s disgusting and I have ZERO respect for any man or woman who is driven by the $ sign. Having said that, it isn’t what drives me and if other people find fulfillment by being greedy P.I.G.S, then so be it. It’s not how I choose to live.

I’d rather have good friends, good food, awesome sex and lots of laughs. Money sure as hell can’t buy you that.

I wasn’t feeling so good about the way I look today. When this happens I force myself to a selfie and just deal with it. I’ve come a long way since 2012 with how I look, how I feel and what makes me happy. I’m thankful everyday for the things that made me what I am today and while there is still much room for improvement, I’m okay with who and what I am now. In fact, I feel a hell of a lot better about how I look then I ever have in my life.

Somethings have changed, some will never change and when you learn to be happy with it all, you know you’re doing all right.

Sierra

MYS

 

 

 

 

The things we do for those we love

I’ve never hidden the love for my Lion’s football. True enough they aren’t good but I don’t care. I’m a sucker for the lost and down trodden- at least that’s what I tell myself.  I’m from Michigan. I love Detroit and I love our teams here. From MSU and U of M, to The Pistons, The Wings , The Tigers and The Lions. I’m loyal- win or lose.

Call me stupid, I don’t care. For me, you don’t give up when things go wrong. It can be a good thing or a bad thing but I don’t spend my time worrying about it.

You can imagine my profound disappointment that the DH has never been a Detroit Sports fan. He’s a fan of the Carolina Panthers!  For me this is a head shaking choice dripping in irony that only I understand and I can’t even begin to explain.

But this isn’t about me, it’s about what I’ve chosen to give him for X-mas. It will be a Carolina kind of holiday here. Why? Simple, he’s been there for me for 21 yrs. Through some extremely difficult times when by all accounts he could have high-tailed it out of here and never look back- he didn’t.

He works his ass off everyday and asks for very little in return. SO anytime I get the chance to give him something that will make him happy, I try. He’s not the most expressive guy. No deep, long conversations and things like that. He’s reserved- pretty much the opposite of my social butterfly ways and this  year I wanted to make his holiday a little special by giving in and giving him things he really wants.

I will bring the enemy into my home because it makes him happy and isn’t that what this time of year is all about. I love to make people happy and feel good. Feel important and appreciated. If giving him the black, blue and white panther gear makes him happy then so be it.

I will concede that since they are 13-0, I really hope they finish the season undefeated and win it all. This too would make the DH happy.