Wonderful weekend , Bad Monday

30 Seconds to Mars was outstanding, fantastic, fun and exciting. I screamed like a teenager, jumped until my calves hurt and sang with my fists flying in the air with everything I had.

The natural high I get at a live show is like no other. I am always saddened to see it end. A few surprises of the night my name was on a list, the list to not have to wait in line. Imagine mine and VJ’s surprise when they marked my name from the V.I.P list and opened the ropes to let us through. Then inside we met the manager of the Filmore (A great venue for concerts) who showed us where our seats were located. A waitress introduced herself to us and took our drink order. We felt like Queen’s for the night. Coming from a strictly blue-collar background and never having experienced such treatment I decided I liked it. I loved feeling like I was important even for just one evening. It’s not every day a girl like me gets to experience such a night.

It does come with a price, one I sacrificed to make but it was well worth it. I recommend that at least once in your life you get the royal treatment. It’s the least we working stiff’s deserve. The wealthy get wealthy off the backs of the  little guys everyday.

Even if its only once indulge yourself. Be selfish and pull out the cash to get pampered, placated and taken care of for one night. Eat at that restaurant you’d never have the nerve to make a reservation at. Spend the day at the spa that you’d never even think about going. Get that massage from the hunky guy named Sven you always wanted but he cost too much. Buy that dress that made your eyes bulge the first time you looked at the price tag.

My point is everyone should have an experience they can remember. For me Saturday night was that experience. It was worth every single penny it cost me. Pennies I could have used more wisely elsewhere, but I don’t care. For four glorious hours I was swept away into a world I’ve never been allowed in before and I wrapped myself in it like a fluffy warm blanket.

It was a good night and one I didn’t know I would need come today where I woke up to 2 inches of freaking snow in the middle of April. Winter in Michigan is never pleasant unless you’re a ski bunny. The icy cold whipping of the wind doesn’t thrill me in fact it kind of makes me a bitch. With the coming of April though my moods usually lighten up and I find joy. Well my damn joy took a nose dive today as those little frozen flakes came out of the dreary sky and landed on my windshield.

At least I can look back and remember Saturday night. I can close my eyes and transport myself back to that night where I laughed , danced and sang until I was breathless and well satisfied.


Liar, Liar Pants on Fire…

We all have sung that song as children. As adults we think we can have calm rational discussions and normally that’s true. With one exception, the exception of that one person who tells so many lies they can’t keep up with them. I’m a real person and understand the lie to protect someone’s feelings, the little white lies  people tell most of the time.

What drives me to the point of wanting to choke someone is finding out  you can’t trust a single thing that comes out of their mouth. When you try to have the discussion you’re rebuffed and made to feel like it’s all your fault. It’s a tactic used by chronic liars. Even if you can ignore the constant barrage of lies and not being able to discern the truth, they come with a giant sense of entitlement and selfishness that only inflates the ability to continue lying.

So what do you do? Do you cut them completely out of your life, even if they are important to you, even if you’ve been life long friends or if you depend on them like no one else? It’s a question I’ve been grappling with a long time now. Do these people even realize how completely selfish they are or is it they really don’t give a damn? I’ve been leaning toward not giving a damn because I can think of no other reason. I am by no means a perfect person, I’ve told my share of lies big and small. What I haven’t done it lie to get out of something instead of standing up and telling the truth. While its a lame justification I’ve done it so to spare the feelings of others. Like I said not a good reason. So I find myself at a cross roads, an impossible and difficult situation. Should I cut them loose and ignore it and just wait for them to hang themselves with their own rope ? Or do I ignore the whole mess and wait for the inevitable blow up that will end friendships forever.

Whatever happened to MTV?


As a child of the eighties I was there at the launch of MTV. Before MTV my best friend and I were forced to watch channel 9 every Friday night for music videos. The good thing about it we were introduced to some good Canadian bands at the time, the bad thing was it was only one night per week.

Then MTV was born and all our adolescent fantasies were suddenly on the screen in color. Duran Duran  my favorite ( They still are ) Their videos were amazing, the places they filmed strange yet beautiful. They seemed sophisticated and much older than they were. Dreams of going to England the minute we turned 18 never came to pass and soon life moved on.

The saddest part is that MTV the birth place of our love for videos and thus seeing and hearing new music has died. In its place the dreaded line-up of ridiculous reality shows. Pathetic , miserable wanne-be nobody’s trying desperately to claim Andy Warhol’s 15 minutes of fame. It’s a sad commentary on life and how we’ve spiraled downward in society.

I can remember stars like Billy Idol and Sting standing before solid colored walls saying “I want my MTV.” I whole  heartily agree, I WANT MY MTV. Not the MTV of now but the one of old. The one that started with Video Killed the Radio Star, Hungry Like the Wolf and White Wedding. I want the old Veejay’s back like Nina Black. The invention of the web makes it possible to go to YouTube and find videos to watch but it’s not the same. Sometimes technology doesn’t improve a medium it stifles it. The record album and now it seems the cd are things of the past. SO sad considering my first three albums ( which I still own) were Def Leppard, U2 and my beloved Duran Duran. I miss Harmony House and Banana record stores. I miss the thrill of picking up a new album the day it comes out.

And as I sit here ranting and raving about losing the things I loved most in my youth the only thing I can think to say is I Want My MTV, not of today but of twenty five years ago. I want to lose myself in the images of color and story and interpretation of songs by great directors and greater musicians.

I WANT MY MTV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Music Inspiration, personal love, life


All my life Music has been a part of every single experience I’ve ever had. It continues to be one of the most influential things about my world. I’ve come up with story ideas as well as characters based solely on a song I’ve heard. They remind me of people and places and times I’ve shared with others. So with in mind I’m sharing my music. Be it personally special to me or to do with characters. Nothing can reach deeper into my soul and either rip it to shreds or heal it like music can. So my first contribution is DIG by Incubus.

It’s a deeply personal song for me and would likely apply to anyone who has ever shared their life with someone who knows them better than anyone else. Who accepts their flaws and stills finds beauty in who and what you are.  When I first heard this song I knew it explained me and the person who understands me best.


Time for School


   Tomorrow is it. The big day. I’m starting school at the ripe age of 42. off I go into the medical field. Something I know nothing about, which I find exciting. After being at home for ten years and out of the work force I’ve decided that being at stay at home mom boring.

The kids are all in school and quite frankly I suck at the whole home maker thing. Whoever said it was easy to be a home maker was seriously out of their mind. I come from a traditional southern family where my granny as well as several aunts all stayed home. Their homes are immaculate, their ability to cook without recipes stunning. What I’ve discovered is I hate cooking, everything about it. I hate the prep, the smells the patience it takes to try to perfect a dish. Its more pressure than I can stand at times. While I like my house clean this also drives me nuts. I can guarantee that the minutes I mop my wood floors one of the dogs will leave paw prints along it. I wipe off a table a 15 minutes later little dust bunny’s reappear on purpose to make me crazy.

Staying at home has made me a grumpy bitch on most days. I’m not a loner, I like being around other people if only to let off steam. Of course the economy also comes into play. I’ve got three kids to send to college and with a set of twins it means that I’ll be paying double for the pleasure of getting my kids a higher education.

When the opportunity arose for me to take the plunge into learning something new and with the support of my hubby and friends I knew this was the right move for me.

I also think this will help in my writing. I won’t have time to stare dumbly at my computer screen knowing I need to write and yet unable to form any words or at least anything worth reading. I’ve discovered that I pretty much have A.D.D. My brain had a million thoughts zipping through it at any given time and the structure of school might be exactly what I need in order to settle down.

I knew when I lost weight after the bypass surgery I would have more energy I just never realized it would be the kind of energy that drove me nuts if I didn’t have anything to do.  for the first time in a long time I am stoked to wake up and do something. I hope I’ll feel this way in three months, but for now I have high hopes for the furture.l I know that I can help set an example to my kids on the importance of education and homework ( A constant issue at my home) by seeing that mom has homework they’ll understand that nothing is more valuable in their  lives than to get as much education as they can.

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