Moving onward or staying unhappily where you are?

Without the boring details I find myself at a crossroads. The easy road of course I will know what to expect. How it all will end. THe other road is scary leading into a dark wood that I’ve never known before. This road will bring pain and I’m not even sure at the end it will bring the happiness I so desperately need.

AM I so afraid of moving forward that I’d rather stick with what I know. Part of me says Hell yes. The other part of me who has gone from being a strong female is crying out to take her place among the world. Confusion abounds and so I’m taking the summer to decide what it is I really want. Wish me luck!

HEADACHES FROM HELL!!!!!!!!!!

I’VE HAD ONE OF MY FAVORITE HEADACHES….ITS BEEN ABOUT FIVE DAYS AND I HAVE TO SAY I’M OVER IT ALREADY. I’M THINKING I NEED TO GET THE DREADED READING GLASSES. YOU KNOW THOSE THINGS THAT THOSE OVER FORTY GENERALLY HAVE TO START WEARING. iT SUCKS WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOUR CLOSER TO FIFTY THAN YOU ARE TO THIRTY. THOUGH I KNOW SO MANY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN WHOSE LIVES ONLY STARTED AFTER THEY TURNED FIFTY.

BUT BACK TO MY ORIGINAL COMPLAINT. IT’S HARD TO FREAKING WRITE WHEN YOUR EYEBALLS FEEL LIKE THEY ARE POPPING OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND YOUR FOREHEAD IS SCRUNCHED UP WHENEVER  A LIGHT IS ON. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!

Where does the time go?

I can’t believe it’s already March. I’m now on my externship for my schooling. Yes I get to work for free. Three weeks down three more to go. I LOVE what I’m doing. It seems taking care of people is what I enjoy doing.  The hospital I’m at is sort of a last stop. They are too sick to go home and homes can’t take them because they are hooked up to vents and trachs. I love the small smiles I receive and learning things about others. My world has opened up a lot more.

I haven’t been lazy though I just finished my edits for my first solo with Ellora’s Cave. I’m so excited about Finn’s Redemption. I wrote it several years ago and had some serious re-writing to do but it was worth it. I’m in the middle of the second book Sully’s Salvation which I hope to have done sooner rather than later. I am trying to finish up my third Alexander Wolves book and I have three more urban fantasy stories I’m toying around with.

I don’t bother with a to do list anymore because it makes my head hurt. The one thing I am starting to do is filling out my character sheets. I have major difficulty remembering hair and eye color, spelling of names etc…. I never thought I’d have enough books out for it to become a problem.

Not that I’m complaining. I’ve been very fortunate and I’m grateful for all that I have been given. I just can’t wait to see my book up on the front page with its gorgeous cover

Day Two of the writing blitz

So I woke up at six a.m. bright and early and opened the laptop. Surprise, surprise the words started to flow. I’ve gotten into Longfellow Forgiven I just have to NOT look at all the other things that need to be done. VJ and I pushed out a bunch of stuff under the name Violet Summers but its become increasingly harder to stay in a steady flow. I have school, three kids, two dogs and one Guinea pig. VJ has her Evil Day Job, a teenaged god-daughter , kitties and her parents that she takes care of.

We so want to write more, write faster but life seems to be inserting itself into  writing time. The Calender seems to be working for me. I need the structure and instead of looking at my writing goals as the enemy I’ve tried to look at them as a oppertunity to really pick up my pace.

Whenever I start getting bogged down  I take a look at my photos of HOT men and eventually work my way back to writing..

Here’s a honey who always inspires

Serious writing has begun

The big holiday is over. The kids are already bored and today was my first day of 3000 words a day challenge for myself. I started of working on the next Longfellow book. The characters managed to piss me off so I need a break.

I worked on a new story that I’ve started. Working title Pitch Black. SO here’s a little something from the beginning. I’ll probably be putting up snippets of stories I’m working on. It’s always nice to get a little feedback Of course these are unedited rough draft bits and pieces but what the hell…

* * * *

“Pitch, he said you were an unprofessional bitch.”Billy leaned back in his beat up leather chair, hands behind his head.

“Did he also happen to mention that he never let me forget he could show me a good time while we were trying to clear out that shack he considers a house?”

“You know he didn’t, but its part of the business. You need to be able to handle the clients with a bit more professionalism.

She flopped down in the equally battered chair in front of her boss. “I was professional until he grabbed my ass and offered to show me what it was good for. He’s lucky all he got was a broken nose, I could have rendered him sterile for the rest of his piggish life.”

* * * *

Oh and I reached my 3000 word mark. So day one was a success.

The Muse is back

Yes the little bitch has finally escaped the from the deep dark dungeon I apparently had him lovcked up in. The imp was slow to emerge but now he’s back with a vengance. I was on my way to school yesterday when the ending scene to a new series I’m fiddling around with popped into my brain. Sitting in the student lounge I had to hand write the scene while it was fresh and it kept getting longer.

Don’t get me wrong I’m thrilled to welcome the little bastard back. ( NO worries he enjoys the pet names I give him as well as a good flogging every now and then) He just LOVES to make an appearance at the wrong time and place. I welcome him with open arms even when he shows up at the most inappropriate times.

I’m off of school starting Friday and wo’t have to return January 9th. So the goal well I’m busting my ass on the second Longfellow book. VJ and I are supposed to start on the next Merab book and I have four WIPS I need to get some serious work done on.

My goal is no less then 3000 words a day, everyday of my vacation. It has to be done. When I go back to school its Anatomy 2 for me and I’ll be lucky if I have a brain cell left while studying for this class.

So the best way for me to police myself is to blog my progress…hahahahaha….I’m not sure if that will keep me on the straight and narrow, but I’ve lost 140 pounds there is NO reason why I can’t do this.

Wish me luck and stop by and let me kow your plans over Christmas break…..

MY hot assed cover for my first solo with Ellora’s Cave!!!!!!!!

A good Witch is hard to find!

I admit it I’m completely biased when it comes to this cover. Finn’s story was the first one I ever finished. When I got the contract I wanted to cry. Its still  very surreal to me that my solo stuff is getting accepted. I have a wonderful group of supportive friends and the one person I have to thank most is Tawny Taylor. She encourages me and believes in me and has threatened to beat me with a wet noodle if I don’t stop second guessing myself and my writing.

Now I get to look at this heavenly picture that will bear my name for life and I’m as giddy as a school girl.

What a weekend!!!!!!!!!

ROMANTICON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What an in incredible weekend it was. Meeting fantastic authors, readers and if course the men who adorn the covers of Ellora’s Cave books. All of whom were very sweet and a lot of fun.

Work shops, dancing and Food (THANKS LAURA) I haven’t had so much fun in such a long time. I won’t bore you with a long diatribe, instead here are some photos of my adventures.

Romanticon here I come!

One week from today I will be in the mom-mobile making my way to Ellora Cave’s annual Romanticon weekend. I will be going as an author and can barely contain my excitement at the prospect of having so much fun.

I look forward to again talking with the editor and chief who is one kick-ass woman. As I’ve complained before I’ve hit a major writers block and I’m hoping that this event will get the juices flowing again as well as the ideas.

There are going to be two costume events. A cavewoman/man night and a futuristic night. I am completely thrilled about this. My costumes are awesome…lol…. Some of you may know that last year I had gastric bypass surgery and have gone from a 26 to a 10. Now at 43 I’m truly enjoying the shopping experience for the first time in my entire life. I have always been a big girl and I ha a really good self-image. My decision for the surgery was based on health, namely me ending up with diabetes or high blood pressure etc…. A road I didn’t want to travel as I have several family members who have gone through and are suffering through some of the devastating things that can go wrong with these diseases.

I am so happy to be debuting the NEW me. I know some people don’t like to let others know they’ve had the surgery. Hell I shout it from the rooftops. My life has been saved and I’ve added 20 years to it. I don’t push it on anyone else and I try to support those who’ve gone through are currently or in the future going to do something similar.

Back to Romanticon. Its been a rough year and I’m looking forward to seeing old friends and making new ones. One reader turned good friend and I are sharing a room ( can’t wait to see you Dotty). There will be some of my favorite people there ( Laura) and I can’t wait until this week gets done’ and over with.

I hope many of my readers will be there I would love the chance to meet you and talk.

Cheers,

Sierra

 

MY MUSE HAS TAKEN A VACATION

Only one other time in my short writing career has my Muse taken off somewhere I imagine the little prick is sunning himself somewhere in the Bahamas while I sit in front of my computer staring blankly at my word files, hoping that something interesting will start to flow from my fingers.

When I’m feeling pressured, annoyed or down in the dumps I generally write like a mad woman, pouring all my angst into the words of my stories. MY LITTLE MUSE sits upon my shoulder and pushes me to continue, helps me through the rough stuff and kicks me in the ass when I need it.

I’m not really sure where the block is coming from. I suppose that if I REALLY thought about it I might be able to come up with some plausible answer but the problem is that I don’t really want to laminate over what might be at the heart of my discontent. I haven’t learned the art of selfish preservation at all cost and I’m thinking that may be part of the problem. I feel a certain amount of guilt whenever I move forward which is a ridiculous way to feel.  All I know is that I haven’t written beyond a couple of pages in the last five weeks. A certain amount of excitement I used to feel is now gone, sucked out of the joy of writing for me.

So I blame the one thing that is easiest to find fault with, MY MUSE. I ca sit and call him every name in the book. The  pecker-head merely laughs and disappears again into the dark place inside me where he lives. But I miss the little brat and his torturous ways, his mocking laughter echoing in my head. His selfish desire to needle me until I can’t stand it anymore and HAVE to get the words down on paper. He’s abandoned me for whatever his own selfish purposes may be and NOW I’m so angry with him that I’m not sure I want him back. Of course that’s the ultimate denial, I miss the little shit and want him to return to me. I want him to wake me up at night with an idea, or to shake my by the shoulders until I finish a chapter. I want to hear him in my ear telling me that what I’m writing isn’t nearly good enough if only to prove him wrong.

So where ever you have skipped off to you jerk get back here before I have to replace you with another one who won’t abandon me in my darkest hour!!!!!!!!! On the other hand maybe he is trying to steer me in a new direction, maybe he’s trying to how me that I need to be a little more selfish. It is at odds with who I am as a person and I’m not sure how I can reconcile myself to do it, but I know that I have to forge on and continue to sit in front of my pc until my fingers start to move and the ideas flow freely again.

God help him when he returns because I’m a bitch on wheelz at the moment and he deserves a good lashing.